Acestroke

Best & Worst films of 2010 (so far)...

2010-06-29T08:16:00.001-07:00

Since we're about half-way through 2010, I want to list some of the best & worst movies I've seen so far this year (before I forget them):

BEST

Ghost Writer

The Square

How to Train Your Dragon

Solitary Man

Toy Story 3

Kick-Ass

Splice

WORST

The A-Team

Jonah Hex

Robin Hood

Knight & Day

Wolfman

Iron Man 2

the ten best & worst films of 2009...

2010-02-20T20:01:00.000-08:00

And in the ascending order, here are THE BEST:

10. "I Love You, Man"

Although Judd Apatow had nothing to do with this brilliant comedy, it very much feels like on his films. Certainly it was miles and miles above Apatow's "Funny People", which was anything but funny. "I Love You, Man" captures the honesty and bravado of a friendship between two straight men like no comedy before it. And it truly is FUNNY!

9. "Coraline"

A nightmare animation move that made me remember my own bad dreams as a child. Completely different in tone and theme from the other classic animated film of the year ("Up"), "Coraline" is a visual marvel, especially in 3D (the only way to see it, as far as I'm concerned).

8. "Precious"

A mother-daughter relationship story taken to a whole new level. This is your city-tough "Terms of Endearment", but not for the tender hearted. And it features the single best performance of the year, by M'onique, in whom I had no faith before, but will surely pay attention to from now on.

7. "(500) Days of Summer"

Just like any great cinematiclove story, this one succeeds because we learn early on that the two lovers will not make it long-term, and that's just the thing: we watch their relationship deteriorate in different places, out of sequence, in all its tragic beauty and heartbreak.

6. "Watchmen"

The best comic book hero movie of the year, and one that was poorly received by the majority (I'm not really sure why). I was never a big fan of Zak Snyder, but his adaptation of the graphic novel of the same name is visually stunning, conceptually inventive and for those not familiar with the book, thematically ingenious. Who would've thought we'd ever accept such a harrowing ending, but we do.

5. "Bad Lieutenant"

Nicolas Cage's best performance in years (or perhaps ever?), in a remake of another film of the same title from 1992. This one is better, but its tone, which is all over the place, works amazingly well as a comedy, an action picture and wacky acid trip into the shady underworld of post-Katrina New Orleans. I was surprised by how much I liked it. It's Herzog at the top of his form.

4. "Drag Me to Hell"

Sam Raimi returns to his EVIL DEAD roots, and delivers once again. A complete 180 from his SPIDER MAN franchise, "...Hell" is a horror movie with brains: it's terrifying, hilarious and socially satirical, sometimes all in a span of a minute. Clearly Raimi's best film since "A Simple Plan", and the best horror film in years.

3. "Up"

Leave it to Pixar, as usual, to deliver an amazing looking animation visual masterpiece that will not only dazzle your eyes, but also break your heart. Oh, that's just after the first 5 minutes. The great writing keeps coming, and I dare you not to cry by the time the final credits roll. In a word: Amazing.

2. "The Hurt Locker"

One of the best movies ever made about the Iraq war (after "Three Kings" and "In the Valley of Ellah"), this was the smartest and most observant film of the year, on any topic, anywhere, period. Not much can be said about the film's plot, since it doesn't really have one, but it's exhilirating nonetheless: it makes war look both exciting and incredibly painful, and stands by both arguments.

1. "Inglorious Basterds"

Quentin Tarantino's brilliant screenplay really is what keeps this thing go to places no other war-comedy ever has before: a complete and utter unpredictability. Sure, it helps that Brad Pitt and the newcomer Christoph Waltz are just plain awesome, but seriously folks... we have to chalk all of its brilliance to Tarantino. That is one talented Basterd.

Milan Stubelj is a crook - DO NOT do business with this man...

2010-02-18T07:41:00.000-08:00

Milan Stubelj, from Krizevci in Croatia, is a crook and a thief; DO NOT DO BUSINESS with this man. Just a few months ago, your truly was unfortunate enough to somehow try to buy some books from him, which he shipped to me overseas. When the package he sent me was damaged during transpo and fell apart at some point across the Atlantic (most likely due to Milan's poor packing job), the books fell out of it, got lost, and all I got in the mail was the front cover of my package, the page with my address on it. But no contents. None. $80 (plus shipping costs) down the drain.

Milan Stubelj, the crook, did not care enough to acknowledge his fault in this transaction and merely offered a future 50% discount for me in any future transactions between us, as a consolation. Riiiiiiiiiiiight.... as if I would do business with him after this, but that's just the way Milan, the crook and a thief that he is, thinks business should be conducted between two people.

What a crook and a thief, this Milan Stubelj, from Krizevci, Croatia. DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH THIS MAN!

Serena & Roger Federer still the giants of professional tennis

2010-01-31T16:17:00.000-08:00

Magic Johnson - why are you advertising for Rent-A-Center? Can't pay your mortgage? Really...?

2010-01-27T07:33:00.000-08:00

since there was no year zero, shouldn't this decade's end arrive at the close of 2010?

2009-12-31T18:58:00.000-08:00

No pun intended? Really? Why not...?

2009-12-30T18:17:00.001-08:00

Caldwell's decision to 'rest' Colts' players is the DUMBEST idea in sports this year

2009-12-29T03:50:00.000-08:00

Mo'Nique's performance in "Precious" is THE BEST of the year

2009-12-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

Note to Charles Barkley: learn how to speak proper English before voicing your (irrational) opinions in front of the world, eh?

2009-11-25T15:52:00.000-08:00

Blue Ray Disc, or the upconversion of Standard DVD to 1080? Hmmmm...

2009-11-24T05:17:00.001-08:00

Colts vs. Pats still the greatest show in NFL

2009-11-16T21:05:00.001-08:00

Do we still even have travel agents anymore? Really? Seriously...?

2009-10-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

Phillips & Scott a welcome change for At the Movies

2009-10-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

Driving at night or in the rain? Then turn your ****ing lights on!

2009-10-27T04:45:00.001-07:00

Agassi clearly in the wrong to be dissing Federer & Nadal

2009-10-16T05:02:00.000-07:00

An adieu to a summer that never even arrived...

2009-09-30T15:38:00.001-07:00

NFL presents great moments in the season's first three weeks

2009-09-30T15:37:00.001-07:00

the Chicago REEL Shorts International film fest is a pleasant experience (for a change)

2009-09-15T06:51:00.003-07:00

the headaches and pains of a (roofless) soaked US Open...

2009-09-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

'Inglorious Basterds' rocks & rolls

2009-08-31T15:28:00.001-07:00

Quentin Tarantino's "Inglorious Basterds" is the best film I've seen thus far in 2009. Whether or not I see a better one before January remains to be seen.

I'll spare you the reasons for my infatuations with it and the details regarding it, and I hope that this alone will be reason for you to go out and see it, if you haven't already.

my Starved Rock experience

2009-08-31T15:27:00.000-07:00

the benefits and joys of the Chicago Outdoor Film Festival (Grant Park Summer Movies)

2009-08-26T15:44:00.001-07:00

a wild and hot and wet (and long) first weekend at Kalamazoo

2009-08-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

the elusive downfall of Maria Sharapova's tennis game... where has it gone?

2009-08-06T20:22:00.000-07:00

Look to Norway and France to deliver real horror films that Hollywood has simply lost touch with...

2009-07-31T08:59:00.000-07:00

the cool, so-so summer without heat is another indication of the climate shift throughout the world

2009-07-31T08:58:00.000-07:00

Most summers, I try to make at least 8, maybe even 10, trips to the beach (or in my case, to the Lake). Of all the activities that hot temperature and clear blue skies have to offer in Chicago during the months of June through September, laying out in the scorching sun, and then jumping in the cool water of Lake Michigan, is my favorite one. But this year, unlike in the past, I've only been able to make 2 such trips, and it's not because I didn't have the time. It's because this summer's temperatures have been the lowest that I can ever remember in Chicago.

Just what exactly caused the cool days in early June (one day the temperatues dipped down to mid 40s) is hard to say. Some have argued that the effects of Global Warming, in addition to raising the temperatues across the planet, are also responsible for the unusually cool climates during seasons when only hot days are the norm, because how oceans around the world are causing hot and cold water to rotate in unpredictable ways. Either way one looks at it, this summer is evaporating fast, and the days when I've needed to turn my air conditioning unit were few and far between. Never before would I have thought that having a low electric bill would put a cramp in my style, but I would be less than honest if I said that covering myself with thick blankets at night in July was the preffered alternative. Come to think of it, I'd trade all the cool days and nights of this summer just for one scorcher of 2005 (one of the hottest years in memory).

So will the summer be a long one, and extend into the early and mid fall, now that the summer has gone without having every fully arrived? Probably not. But I wouldn't mind using that AC once or twice in October or November, or at least having the reason to turn it on, even if that meant my electric bill would rise.

My half-year report card on the year's movies so far

2009-07-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

First six months of 2009 movie year have been average at best, and I say this with a serious frown on my face, both as a serious moviegoer and also a fan of mindless Hollywood extravaganza. With nothing special to report, here are a few lists of movies that I felt I needed to say something about:

BEST (January through July 2009, listed alphabetically with no preferences whatsoever):
"Bruno"
"Coraline"
"Drag Me to Hell"
"The Hurt Locker"
"I Love You, Man"
"Up"
"Watchmen"

WORST (January through July 2009, alphabetically)
"Friday the 13th"
"I Love You, Beth Cooper"

Will some of these titles still be on my top and bottom lists at the end of December? We'll see. Certainly, I like the chances of the bottom two so far. Stay tuned.

It's official: Roger Federer is THE GREATEST tennis player of all time. Well, for now, anyway...

2009-07-16T13:36:00.000-07:00

When Roger Federer defeated Andy Roddick in the Men's Final at Wimbledon, 16-14 in the fifth set, he had officially engraved his place in history as the greatest tennis player of all time. And if you don't believe me, just look at the numbers, which now stand at 15 Grand Slam - more than anyone else (one more than the great Pete Sampras).

3 Australian Open titles
1 French Open (just last month)
6 Wimbledons
5 US Opens

Those numbers speak for themselves. It remains to be seen whether we'll ever see anyone as fluid, graceful or consistent in the world of professional tennis, because Federer is truly an amazing talent.

Any questions?

'Public Enemies' just like 'Heat' - except, not as good, of course. So why make it, Mr. Mann?

2009-07-03T08:01:00.001-07:00

Michael Mann's latest epic, Public Enemies, is not exactly a bad film, but that's not saying much. It's also not a very good one either, or even a decent one. Very much in the style of his 2001 biopic "Ali", PE is slow, labored and very boring.

I have never been a big fan of Michael Mann myself, mostly because he has more peaks and valleys than the entire state of Colorado. Some of his films I like very much (The Last of the Mohicans, Heat, The Insider). Others, however, fall on the wrong end of the cinematic spectrum (Ali, Collateral, Miami Vice) and create quite an odd experience for the filmgoer, in which he or she cannot help but ask themselves: why? Why was this film made? Who is it for? What is it supposed to say about anything? And who in the world decided to green light it?

These were all questions that ran through my mind as I watched Public Enemies. Johnny Depp as John Dillinger was not only uninspired in the film, but also plain bored (something that I surely cannot blame him for, because I shared his affliction watching the film as much as he probably did making it). Christian Bale, as the man chasing Dillinger, also looks like he'd rather be working on Christopher Nolan's third Batman installment than on this pointless 'drama'. The actors are good, no doubt, but they're well above this material. I do not know who John Dillinger really was, or what (if anything) made him a compelling character, but this film sure as hell doesn't try to answer any of those questions.

And then there is the issue of the film cinematography! Being a huge ambassador of High Definition, Michael Mann has done something that no other professional filmmaker with half a brain would ever do: shoot a period piece on video! Tsk, tsk, tsk. This might be a forgivable error if the film actually looked good, but no: I'm confident that I could've made it looks just as good on my parents' 1992 VHS camera recorder. It was too grainy, too dark where it shouldn't have been, and too obviously video-ish for a film where art direction and costumes needed to pop. Instead, they just faded, along with everything else.

There's no doubt that Michael Mann is capable of making good films. Heat was one of the best film of the 1990s, and its story arc of a criminal being chased by a flawed law enforcement representative is very similar to PE, but with a better script, more impressive visuals and characters who we actually wanted to see succeed. As it is, Enemies is too long, boring, pointless and possesses a very ugly photographic look. Maybe next time Hollywood gives Michael Mann $150 million to make a period piece, they should first make sure that he hires a good screenwriter and an experienced cinematographer.
My Grade: C-

The annual Chicago Vehicle City sticker continues to be a pain in the ass...

2009-06-29T16:04:00.001-07:00

Each year, from mid to late June, the incredibly annoying chore of obtaining the new Chicago Vehicle Sticker begins for the residents of the Windy City. Even worse, it is accompanied by the quest for the new Parking Zone permit sticker, and what makes this latter 'holy grail' such a nightmare is that it is only available for purchase in the month of June at THREE locations in the entire city of Chicago. That's right: THREE. For millions of people. That is a lot of people, and not nearly enough stations to serve them.

Just the other day, I was finally forced (after waiting the whole month) to suck it up, check my impatience at the door, and get in line with about a thousand other Chicago residents for the annual quest which leads its searchers to that most prestigious of treasures: the Parking Zone permit. Upon my arrival at the City Clerk's office in Jeferson Park on Gale Street, I was not surprised at all to find the line about four or five blocks long (not surprised, but not happy either). As I stood in line with what looked and felt like a million of equaly annoyed strangers, slowly inching my way to the front door of City Clerk's office, I had enough time to think about my life in the past, about my life in the present (it sucked very much at the moment) and about where my life is going (I was already dreading doing this same task again next year). Three and a half hours later, I had both the vehicle and the parking zone sticker (both cost $100 combined), and was merely relieved that I was finally chosen and given the right to go home at last. Never before did I feel my time had been wasted more than on this day.

(A quick side note: Chicago Vehicle Stickers can actually be purchased at any currency exchange during the month of June; what makes my experience annoying is that I need a Parking Zone permit (zone 56 in Rogers Park), and those are only sold exclusively at THREE different locations in Chicago - the Jefferson Park location being one of them. Blessed are those residents of the city who live in Permit zone free areas, for their lives are at least that much more free of stress in the month of June.)

So will the city of Chicago ever figure out this annoying little ritual and turn it on its head? Will we ever have more than three locations to choose from when buying something we don't even want, but something they are forcing us to pay for? Will I ever stop complaining about this annual pain-in-the-ass chore? What do you think?

Federer looking to make history this week at Wimbledon - and yes folks, he will deliver

2009-06-29T16:03:00.001-07:00

Fresh off of his French Open win less than a month ago (where he completed the prestigious career Grand Slam by finally having all four majors to his name), Roger Federer is probably the favorite at this year's Wimbledon, a tournament he's owned from 2003 until 2007. Add the fact that the defending champion Rafael Nadal, the only man to defeat Federer on grass in the last seven years, has pulled out of the tournament because of knee tendinitis, who else do you really think has the game to threaten Federer on grass?

My pick of a potential champion is Scotland's own Andy Murray. He is a very complete player at this stage in his career, and has defeated Federer the last four times he's played him, plus in the first four months of the year, he was arguably the second best player on the ATP (right behind Nadal). Murray is versatile, quick and unbelievably consistent, and those are just the ingredients needed to defeat Federer in a best of five set match at a place where he's won five times previously. If anyone can do it, it's Murray. But chances are, no one probably will.

This is as good of a chance as Federer will ever have to win the all time record breaking 15th major (he's won 5 Wimbledons, 5 US Opens, 3 Australians and 1 French Open), and to finally be labeled as the Greatest Player Ever. In my mind, he already is. Even though Pete Sampras is currently tied with Federer at 14 Grand Slam championships, he wasn't nearly the versatile player on red clay that Federer is, and has never even been to a final at Roland Garros. Federer, on the other hand, has been there four times in a row, and if not for Nadal, would probably have about 18 majors right now. But this is sports, and they all have to go out there and play it anyway, regardless of how much we may believe they'll dominate the field. With no Nadal in sight, Federer should break the record. Murray has the best chance to defeat him, but he has only one thing going against him: his name isn't Rafael Nadal.

"Drag Me to Hell" a great entertainment - one of the best of the year!

2009-06-29T16:02:00.001-07:00

Sam Raimi's "Drag Me To Hell" is just about the most entertaining movie of the year. The fact that it's a horror-comedy makes it into an even more amazing achievement. I saw "Drag Me To Hell" on the same day as Pixar's "Up", and although I loved both films, more different they could not be. But given the chance to watch either one of them again? I'd go with the DMTH.

Fresh off his gig as the director of the Spider Man trilogy (out of which only the second film was worth the effort they put into it, but anyway...), Raimi here returns to his Evil Dead roots, ready to frighten, disgust and make us laugh along the way. His story - of a young woman who selfishly denies a mortage loan extension to an old gypsy in order to get a promotion, and then spends the next hour or so paying the consequences - is suprisingly scary and hilarious at the same time, and feels more fresh and original than anything Hollywood has offered up this year (at about a third of an average film's cost). The beauty of DMTH is that it doesn't just settle for cheap thrills - it is actually scary, delivering moments of true horror while still cleverly not settling for cheap gore (which is why it's rated PG-13). And did I mention that it's funny? More than a few times it had me rolling in the aisle, and the fact that this is the reaction Raimi wanted from his audience only further illustrates what a master filmmaker he can actually be if chooses to make a real film (Spider Man 2, A Simple Plan).

It's hard to say where DMTH will rank at year's end among the best films of the year, but I'm almost certain that it'll be in my top ten, if not the top five. I just hope that it finds a real audience that it deserves on DVD and cable, since it failed to find one in theaters. But most great films seldom do.
My Grade: A

My reaction to Muskegon Film Festival: eh . . . (about a C)

2009-06-05T10:24:00.001-07:00

I would rate my experience at the Muskegon Film Festival, where my short film "Perceptions" screened on the last weekend of May, at about a C. The people were nice, the facility was decent and the weather during the three-and-a-half hour drive was spectacular. The presentation, however, left a lot to be desired.

Having never been to Muskegon (located in Michigan), I found the small town to be cozy, laid back and quite beatiful, especially considering that it finds itself on the other side of Lake Michigan. It's classic Midwestern Americana: spread out suburbia, a few factories close to the center of town, and plenty of cold wind coming off the lake. The film festival, on the other hand, screened one batch of films in a completely wrong aspect ratio, so that when "Perceptions" finally appeared on the screen, I was left angry and disappointed at the festival organizers for making such a rookie and amateruish mistake. But wait - it gets worse.

The afternoon screenings, featuring several short films from all across the United States, had fixed its wrong aspect ratio problem, but only to replace it with an evern worse one: bad focus. Yeah, that's right: about six or seven short films were screened, in a row, and all were out of focus. When I complained to one of the ushers about it, her reply was "that's how the films were burned on DVD". Seriously? I didn't think it was possible to burn anything on any disc and have it appear out of focus as a result of a 'bad burn'. The wrong format, maybe, or even incorrect aspect ratio, but ouf of focus? Are you kidding me? And these are the people in charge of running the festival?

Needless to say, I won't be submitting any more of my future work into the Muskegon Film Festival anymore, nor will I recommend it to anyone else. If a Film Festival is so incompetent to consecutively screen two sessions and have all the films appear shitty, then they don't deserve my money, or even my time. Or anyone else's.

Rafael Nadal's loss at French Open the most shocking upset in sports of 2009 (at least for me)

2009-06-05T10:23:00.001-07:00

This was the upset. Probably the biggest one in sports since the New England Patriots lost the Super Bowl to the New York Giants in February of 2008. That's right, folks - I'm talking about Rafael Nadal's loss to Robin Soderling in the fourth round of the French Open last week. This wasn't just an upset - this was a monumental shock in the world of professional tennis.

Let's just take a look at some facts: Nadal has never lost at French Open in his life. In his four previous appearances at the tournament, he has walked away with the Championship trophy each and every time, defeating Roger Federer in the final the last three years. Coming into this year's French Open, he was undoubtedly the favorite to win it again, for the fifth time, as he won the big clay court warm up events in Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Rome. His loss in the final of Madrid to Federer was obviously a result of fatigue, and while no one would take anything away from Federer (for he did play phenomenal that week), Rafa was still the man to beat in Paris. So what happened?

I watched parts of the Nadal-Soderling afair, and I was surprised to see how defensive Nadal played. Soderling was on top of his game, to be sure, but this was a very surprising result, especially if one takes into consideration the fact that Nadal had steamrolled Soderling 6-1, 6-0 less than a month ago, in the third round of Rome. As I watched the post-match interview, in which a humbled Nadal gave credit to his opponent for playing well (while also admitting that he himself was not at his best), I couldn't help but wonder if maybe he had overcooked himself by playing too many warm-up events where he played the maximum number of matches in four tournaments in a five week span. Having to do it all over again, I doubt that he'd play Barcelona or even Madrid, even at the expense of alienating some of his fans and upsetting the sponsors in his home country of Spain. Maybe less would've been more for him this year.

Let's hope that Rafa bounces back from this major setback and comes back strong for the rest of year. I, for one, would love to see him win the US Open in September and complete the career Grand Slam at the young age of 23. I bet that is something that even Federer would envy.

The NBA referees may need to re-take their exams: quit blowing the whistle on every single contact, for crying out loud!!!

2009-05-29T13:33:00.001-07:00

The NBA is a very entertaining professional sports league, right up there with the NFL. The NBA officials, however, are some of the worst referees on the planet. Athletes who play in the NBA are some of the most phenomenal on the planet, but the guys in the gray shirts, the ones with whistles in their mouth, surely have a long way to go before they can be called 'professional'.

Throughout the current NBA playoff season, I've been amazed at how often - and unnecessarily so - the referees blow the whistles and make the most ridiculous of calls, most often on 'fouls'. It's literally impossible for a good defensive player to make a convincing stop of the offensive player who is driving to the basket and not get called for a foul. Whatever happened to good defense? Does it even exist in NBA anymore? Absolutely. But the referees calling the game sure as hell don't believe it does. Any player inside the paint who fails to score ends up on the free throw line, regardless of whether he was really hacked or whether the officials are just being extremely 'ticky-tacky'.

So here's what I say: let the players play, and call fouls on only extreme cases of contact. Basketball is a contact sport, and players will run into each other, bump each other and even 'hit' each other, in most cases unintentionally. But calling fouls on silly contacts and sending players to the free throw line - where the biggest of games get decided by a missed or made free throw, rather than a great field goal - is something that NBA can do without. Let them play, and blow the whistle only when everyone in the arena can clearly agree that a foul has been committed. Now that would be an unprecedented act, as far as NBA referees are concerned.

Summer is on the horizon, and gas is going up - again! Not good...

2009-05-07T08:37:00.001-07:00

So gasoline prices are going back up. Again. Yeah, that's right. Did you really believe, even for a second, that those low numbers we saw on gas station billboards back in November and December of 2008 were going to last through the warm seasons? In my neighborhood, the regular gas is up to $2.65, which, at this time last year, would've been the ultimate bargain. But you know how it is: once it went down to $1.50, I never really thought it would nearly double back up again, and especially not so soon.

Why am I complaning, do you ask? Well, it's already been a very difficult 2009 thus far, what with work being scarce and the housing market collapsing, and worrying about how I'm gonna fill up my gas tank is a chore I really don't need. So I've made a decision for the remainder of spring and summer: unless I'm using the car for work, I will not drive it. Nope. Not all. But how will I get places, you ask? It's a good thing I know how to bike. Ah, the simple mechanics of a bicycle skeleton and two wheels . . .

The recently released "Dylan Dog: Case Files" is a cause for a celebration

2009-05-06T03:51:00.001-07:00

The Italian graphic novel/comic book, DYLAN DOG, has been my favorite since I was a young boy, growing up in Bosnia, in the late 1980s. It had everything I wanted in a comic: blood, gore, suspense, nudity and best of all - originality! Ten years ago, in the summer of 1999, Dark Horse Comics published six episodes of Dylan Dog in English, over a span of six months. I can't say for sure, but based on the fact that they never released any additional ones, I can only assume that it was not the phenomenon here in the United States that it is overseas in Italy, Croatia and Bosnia.

Just a few weeks ago, Dark Horse once again released a re-print of the six previously published episodes of the Dylan Dog comics, but this time in one fat, thick and exciting novel, Dylan Dog: Case Files. Although I was disappointed that it did not contain any new episodes which haven't previously been published in the US, I was also glad that the character of Dylan Dog was given another chance to find a new audience, and to possibly to expand into a regular series outside of Europe. Now, whether or not it will grow no one can say for sure, but the fact that a film based on Dylan Dog, called Dead of Night, is currently in production and is less than a year from being released, may actually increased the character's chances of finding a publisher on a monthly basis.

Re-reading some of these clasic Dylan Dog episodes, from the much imitated but never topped Dawn of the Dead, to the revenge tale Return of the Monster, and to my personal favorite, After Midnight, has brought back nostalgic feelings of growing up in a country and government that is no more, and also how I felt at the time about the graphic novel art form, and how much it resembled motion pictures to me at the time (and still does, in fact). Ah, those were the days . . . and they might be all over again, if a publisher in the States knew a good thing when they see it and actually gave Dylan Dog a chance. And not just a six episode chance, but a fifteen, twenty, twenty five episodes. By then, surely we'll know if it's something Americans can tolerate, and even understand, for you can take my word for it: Dylan Dog is far more compelling, provocative and originall than Superman, Batman and X-Men ever were.

An infinite supply of potholes, in and around Chicago, leads to more flat tires and damaged rims...

2009-04-30T13:26:00.000-07:00

Chicago has, in the last two years, turned into an extremely dangerous "pot-hole mine field" for the average driver, and this isn't something I would've been able to say ten years ago. The winters create cracks and holes in the cement of most streets, both in the city and throughout the suburbs, and regardless of how quickly the city tries to repair them, the mine field still leaves plenty of tires and rims laying on the sides of the road, like casualties in a war zone.

First it was the cold weather that was responsible for the wear and tear of the roads, what with the concrete freezing and un-freezing drastically, and in the process decaying and crumbling like a dying tooth of candy-loving child. Then, for some reason, with the arrival (and the passing) of spring, the pot-holes were still there, sharper and more ripped than before, waiting for an undersized tired to cross it as a lion may wait for an unsuspecting prey. Personally, I've nearly damaged each and every one of my tires, about five times over, but have somehow managed to pull out un-scathed (something that I attribute to my weekly Church attendance and my general God-loving way of life).

Kidding (just about that last part).

Still, I'm not sure what the short-term solution for the Chicago area pot-hole disaster really is, or even a long term one. It seems that, having to live with this ever changing climate of the Windy City - where we often experience four seasons in a single day - we're doomed to have our tires suffer year-in and year-out, and the most we can hope for is to suffer just one (or at the most two) blown tires as a result of the "pot hole mine field" per year.

the early buzz on James Cameron's "Avatar"

2009-04-30T07:49:00.000-07:00

The only thing I know thus far about the upcoming James Cameron sci-fi film "Avatar" is that it's supposed to be such an overwhelming visual experience it's bound to give the audience seizures. There are no trailers for it that I can find on the internet, aside from one teaser trailer that was posted nearly two years ago, and which may or may not be a fraud. The reported budget is bigger than the $200 million that it cost to make Cameron's last epic, Titanic. And since the film is supposed to be released this upcoming December, shouldn't we be seeing trailers for it in order for it to start generating some buzz, any buzz?

The brief paragraph I read somewhere stated that the story line of "Avatar" involves a distant planet in the Universe where oxygen is scarce and its inhabitants have to work for the air they breathe. As of now, that's all I know. When I find out more, I will report it here . . .

American Idol, Season 8: the best finalists ever? Hmmm....

2009-04-30T07:11:00.000-07:00

So are these current American Idol finalists the greatest ever? That's a good question these days. Certainly Adam Lambert is probably the most talented contestant, all by himself, but what about his supporting cast? Where do Danny Gokey, Kris Allen and Allison Iraheta rank?

For me, Allison has just as much singing ability as Kelly Clarkson. The power of her voice and range are without question. Danny Gokey's personality and likability are up there with the most charming and charismatic American Idol contestants (Clay Aiken, Fantasia Barrino). And Kris Allen's versatility with not only his vocals but also a different array of instruments (guitar, piano) is impressive. And let's not forget Matt Giraud. A musical teacher from Kalamazoo, Michigan, who is overshadowed by the other four only because their voices are bigger than his; in a different year, against different contestants, he'd surely be one of the favorites. Now, that's quite a top five, if you ask me.

Not sure about you, but from what I've seen so far, for the past eight years, these contestants of the 2009 season are a lot more impressive in both talent and charisma than any top five before them. And Adam Lambert? He's the best contestants American Idol has ever seen. Period.

The season-long NBA postseason - can't we make some of these a best-of-five series?

2009-04-30T05:58:00.000-07:00

Is there a longer playoffs (post-seaon) than that of the NBA? NFL playoffs last about a month, from the Wild Card game to the Superbowl, a mere four weeks pass in between. MLB playoffs are a few weeks, it feels, and sometime, from start to finish some three weeks pass. As I do not follow NHL at all, I can't say how long their playoffs last. But the National Basketball Association playoffs linger on forever, or so it seems, and as a result, I'm betting that their athletes are some of the toughest around.

The first round of NBA playoffs begin in mid April of every year, and each round is a best-of-seven games series - it used to be a best-of-five, but those days are behind us. If a team plays a full seven-game series in each of their rounds - as the defending NBA Champions Boston Celtics nearly did last year, playing 7 games in their opening round against the Atlanta Hawks, another seven versus the Cleveland Cavaliers, and six games each against the Detroit Pistons and the Los Angeles Lakers in the Finals - they're bound to spend the next four or five months of their offseasons recovering, and hardly enjoying their time off. I don't know about you, but I feel that NBA needs to either shorten the early series to a best-of-five (as they once used to have, but for some reason common sense did not prevail), or allow only 8 teams total to qualify for the playoffs, 4 from each conference - instead of the current total of 16 (8 from each conference).

These basketball players only seem superhuman when we watch their amazing moves on Television, but I assure you, being stretched to such lengths will lead to numerous injuries down the road, not to mention shorter cariers to many, some who actually may want to play longer but won't be able to, because the playoffs wore them out to the point of exhaustion - both mental and physical.

Few things you can bet your life on: sun will rise tomorrow morning, water is wet, death & taxes are inevitable, Rafael Nadal will win Roland Garros

2009-04-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

Rafael Nadal may very well be the greatest clay-court tennis player of all time. Time will tell just how great, and it will also tell if he will end up being the all-around best player, regardless of the surface. His achievements at the young age of 22 are astounding, any way one looks at it, and in about a month's time, he will be defending his French Open (Roland Garros) crown, in order to complete the nearly impossible five-in-a-row feat.

Look, it's no secret that I'm a fan of Nadal - how can anyone not be, regardless of whether you're into professional tennis? In addition to being a great athlete, he is undoubtedly the fastest player we've ever seen, and may be the fastest athlete alive (of all time? Hmm. Maybe. But inconclusive.). Truth be told, what I admire most about him is how well rounded he is, not just as a tennis player (his net game and his serve have greatly improved over the past few years, which is why he's holding the Wimbledon and Australian Open titles at the moment), but as a person. On a tennis court, he competes as well as anyone - some have argued that he may be the best competitor in the world of professional sports, period - never giving up on a point no matter what the score is. But off the court, Nadal remains an intelligent person, owning a philosophical mind and a mature approach to his place in the tennis world. He possesses no ego, no disrespect toward any of his opponents, no conceit whatsoever; a more humble athlete who has accomplished so much so early we will not find. And on top of it all, he is so awesome to watch on a clay tennis court, so indimidating to look at across the net that many of his opponenents walk onto the court with little hope of defeating him.

Come early June, Rafael Nadal will pick up his fifth consecutive Roland Garros title, adding another Grand Slam to his current six. I just don't see anyone defeating him in a best-of-five-set match, although Novak Djokovic has a chance to give him a good match, and by that I mean he may win a set. A SET. But that's all. Maybe.

The yet another comeback (and return) of the ageless Britney Spears - and, concidientally, the simultaneous re-appearance of my fantasies

2009-04-23T09:59:00.001-07:00

Britney Spears continues to surprise me, in more ways than one. Her early run as a teen-bubblegum-pop-princess is long gone, and her marriage to a "no-hit wonder" Kevin Federline having been kaput for a few years now, she is, once again, on the road to re-inventing herself. With two children in tow, Ms. Spears looks, sounds and moves like she never left (for that brief period) to raise a family, and these days she appears to be better for it.

Of her recent hit songs, "Circus" and "If you seek Amy" are both catchy and memorable in ways that her earlier hits (Ooops! I did it again, Toxic, etc.), and the music videos are even better - offering great visuals, both cinematographically and choreography wise, to compliment the lyrics that, although aren't brilliant, continue to grow on me. Ms. Spears looks terrific too - her figure amazingly fit and lean, as if she'd never had kids. And all of this resurrected success after the laughable way she appeared on the VMAs some 18 months or so ago. Certainly at that point, me, along with everyone else, had written her off for good. I was wrong, and I'll admit it: listening to Britney's music on the radion, on my way to and from work, is the only way to endure the slow traffic that Chicago's highways offer.

Pussycat Dolls' "Jai Hoi" a pleasant, entertaining video. In fact, more enjoyable than 'Slumdog', as far as I'm concerned

2009-03-30T04:16:00.000-07:00

Not only is the Pussycat Dolls' music video "Jai Hoi" better looking than the movie, "Slumdog Millionaire", it was based on and inspired by, but it's also a lot more entertaining. Upon hearing it for the first time I was surprised, to say the least, that the Dolls were ever even involved with the film or its soundtrack; maybe it was something that they blended in along the way, after it was certain that the film would win multiple Academy Awards. Still, to me, it's a hell of a lot more enjoyable watching the unbelievably attractive Nicole Scherzinger and four other hard-bodies for three or four minutes than having to sit through a two-hour exercise, featuring characters who have no chemistry whatsoever.

The original "Jai Hoi" song, which played during the closing credits of the movie, featuring all the characters from the film, dancing and moving in sync and unison, was far less effective, especially because it felt forced and out of context with what we've just see. The ending of the film for me was conclusive enough, and the addition of this song/dance/music video wanabee only went to extend that which was never that interesting or entertaining to begin with. In other words, after some two-hours, I was ready to leave "Slumdog" in my rearview mirror, for good; instead, I got a lame, unnecessary and poorly performed dance number to a somewhat decent song. Now, had I gotten a Pussycat Dolls' version in the closing credits, it would've been a different story to begin with. In such a case, I don't think I would've remembered much of the movie afterwards as a result. If only that had been the case . . .

Thankfully, Sony Ericsson Open will have limited coverage on The Tennis Channel. Damn you, FSN!!!

2009-03-30T04:15:00.002-07:00

Once again, I'm writing about this, and once again, so soon after the last time I wrote about it. Just last November, The Tennis Masters Cup had given their televising rights (which previously belonged to ESPN) to FSN (Fox Sports Network), and now, less than six months later, two huge tennis tournaments - the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells, California, and the Sony Ericcson Open in Miami, Florida, have been demoted to that most obscure of all Sports cable television stations - the mother effin FSN!

Look, I know why this is happening, and why ESPN, the ultra sports network that's been covering both of the aforementioned tournaments, has dropped them after all these years: it simply became too difficult to juggle the tennis tournaments, in additino to the all-important March Madness (men's college basketball NCAA tournament). Basketball is a priority, both in ratings and most people's sport of choice in the US, and as a result, I don't really have a problem with it. What I do have a problem with is the Indian Wells and Miami tennis events getting demoted to a channel that no cable provider in this part of the country carries. Not Comcast, not RCN, not the Dish Network. No one. Do you see the conundrum here?

If no one carries them, then they don't get seen, and if they don't get seen . . . well, do they even really exist out there? If no one's watching them, are they really taking place? What a f---ing blow to the groin - first the Masters Cup and now two of the premiere tennis tournaments (outside of the Grand Slams). Let's just hope that FSN stays obscure enough so that no one will want anything to do with it anytime soon.

Jimmy Fallon so far on Late Night . . . not quite up to par with Conan :(

2009-03-30T04:15:00.001-07:00

What made Conan O'Brian such a comedic genius on "The Late Show..." was his quality to not laugh or even snicker at some of his jokes, regardless of how brilliantly funny they might have been. His successor, Jimmy Fallon, is quite the opposite in that regard, and although of a completely different comic breed, isn't quite in O'Brian's league.

It remains to be seen just how successful Conan will be on "The Tonight Show", when he takes over for Jay Leno in early June of 2009. The one-hour-earlier slot will surely mean a bigger audience, as those who might've been alseep for his previous "Late Night" stint will still be up by the time he comes on air. And just what effect (if any) will the California air - and lifestyle, mind you - have on the man who's made New York City his home for so long? Surely the transition won't be easy, but I for one am very curious to see how O'Brian handles the different time zone, and higher paycheck and the pressure that comes with all those aforementioned elements.

Getting back to Fallon: don't get me wrong - I like that guy. His personality and his smile make him an appealing figure, no matter what one may think of SNL (I, for one, hate the show, but anyway...). I just wish that he wouldn't smile so much in the middle of his "Late Night..." opening monologue, as if he knew something we don't, or as if his jokes were actually that funny. So far, I've seen a handful of "The Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" shows, and I can't say that I'm impressed with Fallon's humor. The next few months will tell whether he'll last on there, for if he doesn't we can always the rewind button on "Fever Pitch". But then again, let's hope it doesn't come to that.

My review of "Miss Ohio" - an as of yet unreleased independent feature film

2009-03-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

"Miss Ohio" is a feature length indie movie that was made by its director / producer Gregory Fitzsimmons almost singlehandedly, who it seems had poured his sweat, blood and soul to get it made - and for that I applaud him. I've never made a feature length film on a low budget, but I can only imagine that it is a difficult task during which one loses much sleep, and possibly some sanity along the way.

That being said, the biggest problem I had with "Miss Ohio" is the script itself. It is spectacularly uninteresting and boring, and no amount of great acting or amazing editing would have fixed it. Centering on a young woman, Natalie (Samantha Simon), whose life after her marriage in NYC falls apart - something that was never established as anything worthwhile, and left me wondering why it was even in the film to begin with - because of her addiction to hard core drugs and promiscuous sex. "Miss Ohio" presents us with a series of one-note characters, neither who ever amount to anything memorable. The lead herself is someone who is very uninteresting, and along with a weak script, contributes to this film coming across as a hardcore version of something you'd see on Lifetime network. The supporting actors are good (Jackie Geary, Scott Lynch-Giddings, Jeff Garretson), and during their brief performances they steal the show from the lead actress.

The one scene that actually had potential to be funny and effective - where a girl comes home to find Natalie cooking breakfast for the guy she just slept with, who turns out to be the girl's boyfriend - ends up being flat, due to some poor writing and over-the-top acting. After the screening of "Miss Ohio" that I attended, there was a Q & A with the director, who talked about how he made certain choices, and how he eliminated other ones because he thought they would be "cliches". That's ironic, really, because most of the film feels like a series of cliches anyway - the drug addiction, the religious couple where the husband secretly beats his wife, the false way people hide behind religion to clean up their lives, and so on.

A movie that focuses on drug abuse and redemption needs to be fresh, especially since there are much better movies out there already (Trainspotting, Requiem for a Dream, etc.) dealing with the same topics. As it is, "Miss Ohio" feels a bit 'too little, too late'.

My Grade: F

The undeniable greatness of 'Watchmen'

2009-03-08T01:24:00.000-08:00

Not since 1994's "Speed" have the trailers of a movie looked so atrocious to me that I wowed that I'd never see it. Several months later that same year, "Speed" was on my top ten movies of 1994 list. When I first saw the trailer for "Watchmen", back in July of 2008 at the midnight screening of "The Dark Knight", the collage and combination of corny imagery, excess of slow motion and Zack Snyder's name attached to the project (I despised his last effort, the macho-porn spectacle "300"), all made me nauseous. I was definitely never gonna see this film, unless someone forced me at gunpoint to watch it.

Flash forward about seven months later, and after seeing Zack Snyder's "Watchmen", I can honestly say that it's the best film of 2009, thus far. Now, I've never read the graphic novel that it's based on, so I have no base for comparison. The few people that I've spoken to who've read it have nothing but great things to say about it; of course, to them the movie can't possibly compare to the book. But that's where I come in: a fan of movies in general, I'm reacting strictly from a cinematic viewpoint, and I was amazed at the depth and insight that "Watchmen" possessed. Portraying superheroes who are way past their prime, the film presents us with an alternate reality, taking place in a different United States, in the year 1985, where none other than tricky Dick - Richard Nixon - is the President.

Not to give anything away - for I saw the film with the same limited knowledge, and almost no expectations - I'll only say that "Watchmen" succeeds brilliantly on multiple levels - visually, emotionally and aurally. By the time its third act comes to a conclusion, you're bound to be left as surprised as ever at the actions that the Superheroes in "Watchmen" take in order to save the world. And the one thing I've learned is never to judge a trailer of a movie again, not until I've seen it firsthand.

My Grade: A

Washington, D.C.: Union Station & Film Festival

2009-03-08T01:18:00.005-08:00

The Union Station in Washington, D.C. looks pretty much as all others. To me, there is little difference between this one and the Union Station in downtown Chicago. Full of restaurants, stores and all sorts of people, both on weekdays and weekends, it resembles some sort of international market of people and products, on their way to and from other places, and all smelling like all kinds of foul objects, both living and dead. The first thing that I did upon arriving was to eat lunch, and the choice of meal for today was Sbarro's Pizza.

First session of film screenings, both features and shorts, begins at 1pm, and its theme is Senior Moments. That's where "Foreign English" was screening, and upon completion, all the filmmakers were invited to the front of the stage to the microphone, where we answered certain questions and talked a little bit about this and about that. My favorite film from this session was Matthew Shapiro's "Old Days" - funny, insightful, original and charming.

Throughout the day I attend different screenings, and even a few seminars. Early in the day I listen in on the location managing seminar, by two ladies who've been working in the film industry a long time, and then in the afternoon I'm involved in a producer's seminar, where most of what's covered was already familiar to me. As a result of attending these meetings, I miss a few screening sessions; it's okay, as long as I attend the late horror session, which begins at 9pm.

The horror session was by far the most entertaining of the day, and it featured some of the best short filmmaking that I've ever seen. Richard Gale's "The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon" is a terrific spoof/satire, where the killer takes his time (years, in this case) to complete a murder, where he chases the victim and kills him slowly with a spoon, one eternal blow after another; a french film called "Cam2Cam" was horrifying, and especially for what it didn't show, its suspense building slowly and then concluding in a terrifying final shot; and Richard Bates, Jr.'s "Excision" was well shot, directed and acted superbly by a young girl who's sure to have a bright future in front of the camera.

By the time it was all over (around 11:30pm, I think), I was on my way back to the airport, for my early morning flight. It was daylight savings time too, and I remembered to push my watch forward one hour. At the airport, I was reminded of a typical graveyard in the middle of the night: not a single soul, except me and a few janitors, was present there. Did no one really ever fly in or out of Washington, D.C. in the middle of the night? No red eye flights whatsoever? Apparently not. Interesting . . .

Washington, D.C.: Reagan airport to downtown - The A.M.

2009-03-08T01:15:00.000-08:00

My arrival into Washington, D.C. for the Independent Film Festival is an early one. I land at roughly 9am EST, at the Ronald Reagan Inernational Airport (or DCA, as it's technically called). The interior structure of the place is impressive: much like Chicago's O'Hare, and just as beautiful to look at. Its high ceiling and clean floor, along with well organized signage all around, make it a friendly setting for a newcomer who's yet to find his way around this 'strange' city.

Washington's public transportation train system - or Metro, as it's actually called - is fast, efficient, reliable and very punctual. Like Chicago's El train, it has a number of different lines, each identifiable by a different color, but unlike Windy's City's El, its schedule is much superior, made easy by a countdown clock on each platform, which informs the passengers how long until their desired train will be arriving. Neat.

I get to downtown, and exit at the Metro Center stop, deciding to walk it for a few miles, and to even try to catch the glimpse of the White House. Upon walking for about a mile, I'm informed by Security that White House will not be visible by tourists or anyone today, at least not from a distance where a desirable photo can be taken. I try to snap a few pictures of it, from afar, with my cell phone camera, but since I can't zoom-in with the weak lens, I give up and turn away. The Washington monument stands tall and mighty, and I photograph it a few times. Afterwards, I hike it up towards the Union Station - the location of the Washington Independent Film Festival.

My walk is a long but pleasant one, on this the most gorgeous of late winter days. Numerous joggers pass by me as I make my way northeast, and the temperatures slowly rise to nearly 70 degrees. I begin to sweat, but then again, what else is new? It's almost 11am by the time I get to the Union Station. Inside, I locate the Phoenix Theatres, and then decide to grab some brunch at the local Sbarro section of the food court.

Eternal winter of the Midwest (and more specifically, Chicago!)

2009-02-28T21:05:00.000-08:00

It used to be, back when I was a child, that a normal winter would last roughly three months, from late December until late March of the following year. For the past, oh, I don't even know how many years here in the Midwest, the winter season has been expanded from late October until very late in April. In other words, out of 12 months of the year, winter takes place during 6 of them here in Chicago.

If it's not the brutal, howling winds that come off lake Michigan (close to where I live), or the endless snow storms or blizzards, then it's just the gray skies with the potential of snow and/or freezing rain in the forecast. It's becoming very difficult (and dangerous, mind you) to walk down the sidewalk of the street I live on and not worry about breaking one's neck on the ice, which is a product of the frozen snow flurries from the night before; and driving in and of itself is a whole different chore. Just a month and a half ago, I was unable to move my parked car for over two weeks after a terrible snow storm, because the snow underneath the tires had frozen so badly that it had formed a solid ice sheet, making it impossible for the car to advance even an inch forward or backwards.

This winter, although a little more bearable than the one of last year, has still overstayed its welcome, and in the process has caused a prolonged depression among yours truly (and I'm sure many of the city's inhabitants as well). Here's hoping that spring arrives on schedule, on March 21st, and that we get no more snow until this upcoming December.

the latest & lamest twist in horror movies: and the killer is... ME!

2009-02-28T21:02:00.000-08:00

It all started back in the late 1980s, with the Robert DeNiro and Mickey Rourke film, "Angel Heart". A great film for three quarters of its duration, it completely fell apart in the end, by pulling the old rug underneath us and revealing that the hero himself (Rourke) is actually the man/antagonist that he's been looking for the entire film. It was a lame twist, I have to say, and although I liked most of the film, the fact that it ended in such an unsatisfactory way left a bitter taste in my mouth.

It all occurred again, in early 2004, with the God awful Johnny Depp thriller, "Secret Window". What a stinker this was - and this first film in over 15 years (the only one I can think of, anyway) in which the same awful twist is revealed: the killer, after all, is the hero/main character, for you see, the poor chap suffers from a multiple personality disorder. Wow. I was so disgusted that I nearly asked for my money back. Then, less than a year later, as if this twist has not gotten old already, the even more atrocious "Hide & Seek" (once again with DeNiro in the lead) proved that the audience is the real sucker for letting us swallow the same twist: multiple personality ailed hero is actually the killer. Oooooh! That film, which came out in January of 2005, went on my 'Worst of Year' list very early that year, and remained there for the next 11 months: that's just how bad of a movie it was.

Just last month, a remake of the 80s horror film called "My Bloody Valentine", was released, but in certain theaters it played in 3D. I was impressed with the quality of scares, the blood and the gore that was practically flying in front of my eyes, as I watched this film for the first time ever, and in three dimensions, no less. When the big 'twist' was revealed at the end, I was surprised in two different ways: first, the main character/hero turned out to be the killer, by once again suffering from a multiple personality disorder; and two, HOW THE F--- COULD THEY POSSIBLY THINK WE'D FALL FOR THIS YET AGAIN??? I guess it worked, to some degree: "Valentine" opened up to huge box officer numbers, but quickly died down, and disappeared from all theaters less than 3 weeks after its release.

My point is only this: please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, no more thrillers or horror films in which the much awaited twist has the main character being the multiple personality suffering killer!!! Do us all a favor and give us a little more credit as a moviegoing audience, will ya?

the endless irrelevance of '24' in 2009

2009-02-28T20:57:00.000-08:00

Back in the fall of 2001, "24", upon its first premiere on Fox, was my favorite new television show. It was original, exciting, unpredictable and the very sight and sound of its countdown clock, ticking down before each commercial break, was a treat to a viewer who had gone bored with conventional drama on TV. Then, less than a season into its run, "24" became, well . . . lame.

I suppose the failure of "24", at least to me, to stay relevant for so long is due to the fact that its entire premise is built on a gimmick that was not able to stay fresh for long at all. I was mesmerized by the first six episodes of Season One (or maybe even seven), but after that, it was obvious that the show's unrealistic portrayal of driving from one end of Los Angeles to the other in mere minutes was going to hurt it (not to mention that it pretty much placed logic and common sense on the back burner for good). Plus, the fact that none of the characters ever ate anything - in an entire 24 hour period! Nor did they go to the bathroom - ever! I don't know about any of them, or even any of YOU, but if the fate of the world was in my hands, and I badly needed to go - be it #1 or #2 - I would take the proper time to relieve myself first, at least once, in the span of a whole day and whole night.

In addition, I can only hear Jack Bauer, or whichever member of CTU, yell "We're running ouf time!", or "I need you to tell me who/where/when - NOW!" about 547 times in as many consecutive episodes, after which point my ears begin to hurt. It's a tiresome storyline that's grown even more tiresome with each passing season, and yet, miraculously, it's still on the air. Here's my question: Who the hell is watching it anymore? My guess: those who haven't discovered "The Wire" or "Battlestar Galactica" yet, in all probability.

The spillage of Isreali-Arab conflict into sports

2009-02-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

Just a few weeks ago, mere days before the beginning of a women's professional tennis tournament in Dubai (United Arab Emirates), an Israeli player, Shahar Peer, was denied a visa and access into the country to play in the aforementioned tournament because the tournament organizers feared that her presence in this Arabic city would cause protests and possible boycott from fans and citizens alike. The tournament's decision to commit such an inexcusable act of discrimination (and racism, if you will) just goes to illustrate how little progress the two sides are making the Middle East.

Tennis, over the last few years, has grown all the world over, and especially in parts of the world where a few unexpected nations (China, Serbia, Israel, etc.) have gone to produce top notch players. Dubai, for one, has grown both as a city and a major tourist attraction, in addition to hosting one of the world's best tennis tournaments - both for men and for women. But I'm afraid that after the Shahar Peer incident, this event, which has been openly criticized - and even fined - by both the WTA and even the ATP, will suffer major consequences, and the most likely one is that it will be cancelled by both its sponsors and the governing bodies of tennis. Andy Roddick, the men's champion in 2008, was so disgusted by the discrimination that Dubai has displayed that he had elected to boycott it and not to show up to defend his title, an act which I'm sure will earn him a lot of respect among men and women in the professional tennis locker rooms.

So what's the solution to this? I'm not sure that there is one, really. But the most likely scenario is that the Dubai Tennis Championships will be not be played next year, or every year thereafter, until the ignorance and hatred towards Israelis ceases to exist in that part of the world.

Michael Bay's endless quest for pointless remakes

2009-02-25T11:22:00.000-08:00

Michael Bay, that flashiest of film directors, who rose to fame in the 1990s through television commercials, has had his ups and downs as a filmmaker in the last fifteen or so years. Some of his films were okay (Bad Boys, The Rock, Transformers), others terrible (Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, Bad Boys 2), and none were great. In the last five or six years, however, Michael Bay the director has decided to play Michael Bay the producer, and in doing so has attempted to remake some of the most popular horror films of the last 35 years.

First there was the re-make of the old classic, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), which was not only pointless, but not very scary as a result. Bay has decided to make sure that these new remakes containe as much gore as possible, without any of the thrills, suspense or real terror. Then, in 2005, he re-made (again as a producer) The Amytiville Horror, which was a worse re-make of an already bad film. Having only seen the original and not Bay's re-tread, I can not say how good or bad it was, but judging by how it was received by the public and the critics, I can tell that it left a lot to be desired.

Then, just two weeks ago, Bay released that most famous of horror film franchises, Friday the 13th, and miraculosly was able to open it to a $40 million plus dollars - the highest ever opening for an R rated film. This re-make was nothing more than a series of glorified killings - once again pointless, once again unnecssary in every aspect of its existence, except that it could draw a major crowd in its first three days. Watching it, I became disgusted with how little the film had to do with ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING but explicit violence. Here comes Jason, beheading an innocent horny teenager; here he comes again, mutilating another person for no reason whatsoever; and so on for the next 90 minutes.

Is this really where the future of popular cinema is going? A mere seven months after a well deserving The Dark Knight rose to box office glory with over a billion dollars worldwide, we have several 'abominations of human endeavor' (as I like to call unpleasant films) thus far in 2009 ruling the box office, practically demanding Americans to spend their scarce dollars on this awful drivel. Maybe Michael Bay can take an older film, one that was imperfect to begin with, and try to remake it by actually improvng on the original. I mean, is that really too much to ask for in an economy that is already struggling as it is? Do we have to sacrifice our entertainment dollars on 'works of art' that have no inspiration, no originality, no thought whatsoever? But then again, Michael Bay's list of achievements has never stood for anything more than empty brained eye candy. Let's hope his upcoming sequel to Transformers at least offers a few genuine thrills that will justify us spending $10 on it.
My Grade for Friday the 13th: F

Note to A-Rod: enough with the bull---- already!

2009-02-22T10:43:00.000-08:00

Just a few weeks ago, New York Yankees' superstar baseball player, Alex Rodriguez, has been linked with new evidence of having used steriods, just as many of the sports superstars, in the years prior to him signing with the Yankees, have done. According to the new report, A-Rod was taking steriods, in one form or another from 2001 until 2003, after which he stopped, for whatever reason. Just last week, he held a press conference in which he was supposed to come clean, and fess up the whole thing - not only to the media, but also to his millions of fans in multiple nations across the globe.

The problem I have is that A-Rod did not, in fact, admit to anything clearly, but only to some minor "injections of a legal drug, which was purchased over the counter" by him and his cousin (unnamed), who helped him take the supposed drug twice a month over a few years. He was beating around the bush and ignoring the real issue at hand for the better part of the televised "confession". Not once during this press conference, which I watched closely, did world's highest paid athlete (his contract with the Yankees guarantees him some $250 million over 10 years) express any real remorse, any genuine sorrow or even honestly admit that he took to drug because he wanted to cheat, instead of "because I was young and stupid". Which is true, I guess, but what about the intent to cheat, to be stronger, to hit further and be faster? No. All A-Rod did - just as Barry Bonds has been doing for the last few years, and just as Mark McGwire before him - was bullshit the media, and bullshit the world about how he didn't know this, wasn't sure of that, and how it's up to us to judge him for "the mistakes of his past". When a reporter asked, cut and dry, if he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame eventually, now that he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, A-Rod replied ignorantly: "That's not up to me to decide." Come on, A-Rod: you're so full of it that you make George W. Bush seem like Howard Stern.

So a note to A-Rod and all the other steroid users: confess, come clean, admit your wrongdoing and promise you won't do it again. Enough with the lies and all the bullshit, 'cause we've heard it all before. In fact, I just heard it again, on a webcast which proclaimed that you're not even from the Dominican Republic. What...?

On camera? So just wave! If you're a moron, that is...

2009-02-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

The sight of people caught in the background on a camera somewhere - be it a live news report, a sporting event, or whatever - who feel compelled to wave in order to pointlessly call attention to themselves is a perfect example of Grade A idiots. What exactly are they trying to accomplish is beyond me. Perhaps they truly feel that their cheap 2.6 seconds of fame should be the center of atention for the viewer at home, instead of the professional newcasters and journalists in the foreground on whom we are actually trying to focus.

Why oh why, you dim witted morons, do you continue to do this everytime a camera lens is accidentally pointed in your direction? Do you honestly feel that you're actually contributing to the broadcast of that particular telecast by trying to communicate to your friends or family - to whom I'm assuming you must be directing your wave - that your arm actually is capable of movin up and down, and sideways, and that you're just one slight step above monkeys on the evolutionary step ladder? I mean, seriously people: if I'm focused on the nightly news and am trying to pay attention to the crime being reported, and how many victims there were, and who they were, I really don't need - nor want to - see your retarded tendencies displayed on live television at that particular moment when such serious matters are being dealt with. Or at a basketall game, when I'm listening to the expert opinions of the three courtside broadcasters and watching them try to break down the game in all its complex aspects? Stop the f---ing waving already! Either that, or go back to the zoo, where the behaviour you've chosen to display on live television clearly fits in much better.

And after all this, why do I feel that later today, when I'm watching ABC's broadcast of their weekly Sunday NBA triple header, I will witnes at least three or four such incidents? Is it because I just don't have much faith in humanity's ability to evolve? Perhaps. But until this ridiculous human habit stops, once and for all, I will continue to be unconvinced that it's going away any time soon.

The resurrection of ABC's "Lost"

2009-01-31T18:55:00.000-08:00

Two years ago, "Lost" was probably the best drama on TV (on network television anyway; cable wise, "The Wire" has been the cream of the crop). Last season, the show's fourth, was disappointed for me in many ways, particularly the way they crammed so many new characters and story lines and added so much confusion into a show where there already was an overload of it. This season, through its first three episodes, "Lost" looks to be back in top form.

For a long time now, "Battlestar Galactica" and "The Wire" have been my favorite dramatic series on television (I'm sure many TV aficionados would agree with me). "Lost" has always been close behind, but its relapses from sci-fi suspense to complete absurdity have left me scratching my head, and going back and forth about it all. This current season, however, has finally brought out some scenarios that aren't only satisfactory, but also intriguing: the ability of the island to shift through time; the mystery behind Richard Alpert's timeless age (how old is this guy, anyway?); the background on the Dharma Initiative and their original plans on the island; and the Charles Whitmore origin (he meets Locke on the island as his own younger self, and at the same time has a conversation with Desmond some fifty years later) and intentions (is he a good guy to Ben's bad guy, or is it the other way around? Will we EVER KNOW?). All these promise to be juicy vignettes which I hope will be stretched properly - and with less ridicule than in the past - over the show's final two seasons (the sixth season is supposed to be its last, from what I understand).

I'm looking forward to seeing how it all ends. Be it lame or exciting, I'm in it for the long haul now, having dedicated the last four years to it, and it would be plain dumb to stop watching and quit on the show now, regardless of how badly it may jump the shark someday - a day I hope it never quite gets to.

Rafa vs. Roger - the greatest rivalry in all of sports...?

2009-01-30T17:38:00.000-08:00

After Rafael Nadal's marathon win over compadre Fernando Verdasco in the Australian Open semifinals last night, I couldn't help but wonder: now that he gets Roger Federer in the final to contend for the year's first major, are we (once again) going to witness the greatest rivalry in all of sports? Whether you're a fan of tennis or not, one thing is for sure: when these two tennis giants take the court against each other, it is a very special occasion, one that will likely go down in history. Likely.

I've been thinking about the best rivalries in American sports - New York Yankees and Boston Red Sox, Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers, Los Angeles Lakers and the Boston Celtics, and all of those strike me as memorable, important and more often than not, very competitive. What we don't see a whole lot, however, is those teams competing for a world championship when facing each other (with the exception of Celtics and Lakers, but it happens every blue moon or so). With Nadal and Federer, by the virtue of their #1 and #2 world rankings, every time they meet in a tournament it is always at the championship stage, and that alone makes their rivalry the best and most intriguing one, offering the biggest stakes.

Nadal has owned Federer on clay, and Federer has (for the most part) owned Nadal on grass; now they meet in a hard court Grand Slam final down under for the first time, and just who will win I can not say: I just hope that the intensity, the level of competition and the excitement can live up to their Wimbledon final of 2008 - the Greatest Match of All Time.

I'll be up, around 2:30am Central time this Sunday morning, watching and anticipating every swing, stroke and shot. How can I possibly wait for the tape delay broadcast of another classic when I can witness history as it happens before my eyes?

Worst films of 2008

2009-01-30T09:43:00.000-08:00

Just as I have a Top Ten list of Best Movies of 2008, here is the flip side of it: the worst films of last year. These are the films that made me wish I had my eyes stitched completely, and my ears shut indefinitely. Watching each one of these movies, I was reminded of what Roger Ebert once told a colleague on his Siskel & Ebert show: "this is the kind of movie that, if you were watching it on a plane, you'd watch it without listening to the headphones, and also without looking at the screen." That's how I felt during each and every one of the following atrocities.

So here they are, from the least worst, to the most annoying and excruciating piece of celluloid:

5. Wanted. You want an action movie without any thrills? A movie where logic and character depth are non-existent? How about a film where bullets bounce off of one another when fired from opposing sides? I mean, I thought that The Matrix movies were dumb, but this one sets a new low-standard in how action movies will be perceived from now on. Angelina Jolie looks great, as usual, but it's hardly enough to save two hours of bad writing, boring action and characters we just don't care about at all. I'd rather chew tin foil than have to sit through this again.

4. The Incredible Hulk. For some reason, the majority of film buffs don't think much of Ang Lee's "Hulk" from 2003. Even though that film tanked at the box office, I thought it had a good story, decent special effects and actors who seemed to be cast well for the parts they were playing. This new version, with Edward Norton in the lead, commits pretty much the same sin as Wanted: it's just plain boring. No matter how many explosions they throw in front of us, or how many bullets are fired, or how many chases they throw in there, none of it amounts to anything if we don't care for the characters, or the story. When will a typical action movie director understand this? Maybe they should talk to Christopher Nolan for some pointers?

3. How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Kirsten Dunst. Danny Houston. Jeff Bridges. Simon Pegg. These are the actors who occupy this dumpster of a movie, all of them way too talented to be appearing in a script so dumb that a monkey wouldn't laugh at any of its jokes. There isn't a cliche here that we haven't seen a thousand times before, and its hero (Pegg) is an unlikable idiot whom no one on this planet would find interesting or charming. The first 20 minutes of this film had me cringing in agony; the rest of it made me wish that I was getting a root canal without any anesthesia. It probably would've been a more enjoyable and less painful experience.

2. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Without question, the most pointless, boring and least challenging story of the year. David Fincher, Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchet had me expecting more from this dud, yet all I got was three hours of nothing: no drama, no conflict, nothing whatsoever than Pitt and Blanchet looking sexy and smiling at one another. If this film wins the Oscar, than the Academy should be ashamed of itself. How in the world does this disaster get nominated over The Dark Knight is beyond me (and beyond about hundred million other people, I'm sure).

1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I f---ing hated this movie. Hated the action (again, boring), hated the cinematography (cheap and fake, almost), hated the acting (childish, really), hated the story (are they serious?), and hated the fact that overpaid hacks like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas made us wait 19 years - for this piece of shit? Seriously? I kept waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop up somewhere and tell the audience that we're being punked, and that the real Indy 4 will be starting NOW. It never happened. What a disaster. George Lucas - I sorta expect nothing but complete cinematic excrement from him, but Spielberg? Maybe the Academy should request he returns his two Oscars after this piece of toxic waste. Maybe? No - definitely!

10 best films of 2008

2009-01-06T17:14:00.000-08:00

As someone who's seen well over 100 films theatrically in 2008, I feel that I'm somewhat qualified to have a top-ten list. I mean, so many morons make money at this task, and have no clue as to what they're talking about, so I figured I'd try it as well.

Honestly, qualified or not, I have seen many, many, many new films this past year, and I feel that I need to unburden myself by listing my ten best. In descending order, here are my favorites:

10. Iron Man

A superhero movie that is a just pure fun. Not as serious (nor as gloomy) as The Dark Knight, this film started the movie-summer season in fine fashion by re-introducing the new and improved Robert Downey Jr., who's as good of an actor as any in Hollywood. Add a clever script, great special effects and characters we just don't want to see lose to the equation, and you've got one of the better action movies of the year.

9. Redbelt

David Mamet has for a long time been a fantastic screenwriter, and in this, he takes on the sport of martial arts to a whole new level. Typically, Mamet's films are full of con men, deceptions, and trickery we don't necessarily see coming. Chiwetel Ejiofor (never gets easier pronouncing or typing his name) is awesome as an instructor whose world slowly begins to fall apart, all by being triggered by a rainstorm.

8. The Fall

This film, shot in over 24 countries during a span of many years, will either be loved or hated. No one will simply "like it", or think that it's "okay". I belong in the former category. Director Tarsem is a master of the visual image, and this fantasy tale of four imaginary men on a quest for revenge is most likely, on a visual level, along with Barry Lyndon and The Conformist, the most beautiful film ever made. Period.

7. Synecdoche, New York

Leave it to Charlie Kaufman to write and direct the most puzzling, mind bending and original film of the year. As a stage director whose life begins to unravel, Phillip Seymor Hoffman plays every note to perfection, and remains, to this day, the most courageous actor in American cinema, never turning down a good role. His character, Caden, stages a monumental theatre production of his own life, where characters come and go, do and say unexpected things, and hold the audience in awe for most (if not all) of the way.

6. Elegy

Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz as a New York college professor and his overachieving student who begin having an affair and then fall in love. Or do they? I've never been a huge fan of Cruz, but here she is simply amazing, believable to every gesture: her best performance. Kingsley is great as usual, and if the last act of this film doesn't break your heart, then, well, you probably don't have one.

5. Revolutionary Road

From the endless trailers and previews of this film on TV, you probably already have an idea of what it's about: Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio meet when both are in their early 20s, get married and move to the suburbs, where they both begin to slowly decay on the inside. It's slightly more complicated than that, but director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Jarhead) is in complete control of the material. His best film yet.

4. Let the Right One in

An absolutely original and fascinating horror film from Sweden, about a lonely 12 year old boy who befriends a young girl of the same age. The trick is, she's a vampire. The last act, at the school swimming pool, is as good as anything I've seen all year, in ways that it's both frightening and funny simultaneously. I'm just disappointed that the film didn't find a bigger audience; here's hoping people see it on DVD.

3. The Dark Knight

Do you really need a reason? Really? Aside from its complex portrayal of a city government rotting away from the inside - and outside - and its three-dimensional, well layered characters, this IS the action movie of the year (take that, Quantum of Solace). More so than any other film of 2008, The Dark Knight will be talked about years from now, if not decades: its themes are that dark, rich and complicated, and all the more astonishing for not pretending that there is a solution to any of the mess that Batman finds himself in by the film's end. Now that is true cinematic integrity.

2. In Bruges

The funniest and, in many ways, 2nd most charming film of 2008. I saw this waaay long ago, in late January, I think, and haven't forgotten it. In fact, it holds up even better on DVD. As two hitmen from Dublin who are hiding out in Bruges (in Belgium) until the heat of their last botched up job dies down, Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell create memorable characters for the ages. And did I mention it's funny? As hell? Writer-director Martin McDonagh is a major talent, and I can't wait for his next film.

1. WALL-E

If you've seen it, then you know why. If you haven't, then what the hell are you waiting for? This was the cinematic achievement of 2008, be it live-action or animated, for both its visual excellence and its social commentary of the downfalls of our consumerist culture. The robot Wall-E is the year's most likeable character, possessing traits that are more human than some of the humans in the film; I suppose cleaning up the garbage that we've created on Earth for over 7 centuries will humanize any of us. Now if only every film would affect us the way Wall-E did...

Hope that was informative for you. Stay tuned for my 5 Worst Films of 2008. Coming soon...

A major faux pas by the Spike Channel

2009-01-06T16:59:00.000-08:00

Just last weekend, I happened to be home on a Saturday afternoon, aimlessly changing channels, trying to find something - anything - interesting to watch. Suddenly I arrived on the Spike Channel, which was showing David Cronenberg's "A History of Violence". The film was late into its presentation - in its third act by the time I arrived at it. A masterpiece that it is, I find myself always having to watch this film, regardless of how many times I've seen it, over and over, and today was no exception.

And watch a few seconds of it I did, that is, until the Spike Channel, for reasons unbeknownst to me, suddenly decided to minimize the film into a third of my TV side while broadcasting a commercial in the other two-thirds of the screen. The final scene of the film - the one where Viggo Mortensen's character comes back home to find his family sitting at the dinner table - was still not over, not by a long shot, and the Spike Channel decided to completely abandon it. Why the hell would they ever do such a thing?

Look, I know how the TV stations operate: commercials and advertisements are everything, all the time, and the major source of their revenue. And that's fine - there's a time and place for all of that. In this particular case, the film was mere minutes - if not seconds - away from being over and having its closing credits roll. Instead, during the climactic and the film's most conclusive scene, the idiotic TV station decided to cut to a commercial instead. WTF?

David Cronenberg, if you ever come across my blog and happen to read it, please, by all means, find out who in the world is responsible for massacring your film and make sure that some heads roll over there at Spike. No TV station - network or cable - should be this irresponsible and dissrespectufl to a work of art - be it a piece of music or film. Shame on you, Spike Channel.

A letter to the most immature of brats - John McEnroe:

2009-01-06T15:19:00.000-08:00

Dear John McEnroe,

I've been a fan of tennis for a long time, but not nearly as long as you've been playing it. Your feats in the sport are known the world over - four U.S. Opens, three Wimbledons, etc. - and as a player of pure talent, you'd rank up there with the best of them. .

It has just recently come to my attention that you were defaulted from a match in August of 2008, while playing against MaliVai Washington on the Men's Seniors tour. According to the article I read, you received a warning for an audible obscenity, and then after you failed to stop abusing the chair umpire and officials, you responded to the booing fans with a visible obscene gesture, which resulted in you being defaulted from the match. This is less than a disgrace - it's an outrage, the way I see it, and as a result of it, I don't think that the powers that be should ever let you play again - period.

How in the world does a world professional, former #1 ranked player, a winner of multiple Grand Slams and an Ambassador of Tennis around the globe, get defaulted at the age of 48 (or is it 49? Either way, you should know better)? Seriously - do you have shit-for-brains in that arrogant head of yours, or what? What kind of a role model do you aspire to be to anyone? It's my understanding that you're a father of more than one child - what do those kids think of their daddy when he acts like a complete jerk and a straight up a-hole on a tennis court when all eyes are on him?

John, look: there's no one's tennis commentating I enjoy more when I'm watching Grand Slam tennis on TV. Your insight into the game, along with your vocabulary, is second to none. As I've said before, you're a pretty decent player to watch too. But as a human being possessing manners, common sense and any decency whatsoever, well... I'd like to say that you have a long way to go, but the truth is that you don't have any of those qualities whatsoever. Let's hope you start thinking about obtaining some of them when you turn 50.

Sincerely,

Armand Diab

Tennis aficionado

The overhype of 'Slumdog Millionaire' and '...Benjamin Button'

2008-12-27T09:47:00.000-08:00

Every year, we get about a dozen films that are overrated and overhyped beyond belief, and as a result, about three or four excellent films end up flying under the radar, and as a result, sinking and ending up on video without every receiving the proper audience they deserve (In Bruges, Elegy and Redbelt are few of those gems). This year, as far as I'm concerned there are no two films more unworthy of all the attention they're getting than "Slumdog Millionaire" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". The difference between the two? While Slumdog is merely halfway decent, the overly hyped Benjamin Button is simply awful.

My Reviews:

Slumdog Millionaire It's not so much a bad movie as one undeserving of all the "best of the year" and "best picture oscar winner" labels it's been getting. The first half of Danny Boyle's film, about two boys growing up in India, is actually pretty good. Plenty of Dickensian 'Oliver Twist' elements, with more than one Fagin as their antagonist. That first hour, although not very exciting, is well photographed, and it deals with the two boys while they're still between ages 8 and 12.
My problem lies in the fact that once the film catches up to them as adults, it falls off the tracks completely, and surrenders to that world old cliche of "the girl of my dreams is actually the trophy wife of the millionaire city wide feared town gangster". The main character and his 'love' have no chemistry whatsoever, and I couldn't have cared less if they ever got together, which at the end, they . . . well, do you even need me to tell you? Danny Boyle has made much better films in his lifetime - Trainspotting, 28 Day Later, and the most recent, Sunshine. I would definitely not put this one up there. My grade: C+

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button An absolutely meaningless story. The film looks great - the locations, the production design, the cinematography are all first rate. But watching this nearly-three hour epic, I couldn't help but wonder what the point of it all is. The main characters don't have much depth, and no goal in sight. They simply walk through life, drifting aimlessly, and are given nothing interesting to do. Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchet look great, as always, but they're both way too talented in this, the lamest of all scripts. There is no arc to the story, no lessons for the characters to learn, no goal in sight, no antagonist standing in their way. In other words, no drama whatsoever.
David Fincher (Seven, Zodiac) is way too gifted of a filmmaker to be wasting so many years of his life (and hours of mine) and I don't know how many millions of dollars (well over a 100, I'm sure) on a bland, meaningless story such as this one. This is, without a doubt, the most ambitious failure of the cinematic 2008 year. My grade: D-

My top 10 and 5 worst films of 2008 will be posted in early January. Stay tuned...

TV: the genius of "The Wire" (and HBO in general)

2008-12-27T08:42:00.000-08:00

The Sopranos. Deadwood. Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oz. And on top of all of them, The Wire. When it comes to drama or comedy Television, our networks (CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC) have a lot to learn from HBO, because no one (except maybe Sci-Fi's "Battlestar Galactica") has come close to creating the drama that the premium cable channel has.

For the longest time my favorite show was The Sopranos. Then, after a few years it became stale, jumped the shark and gave way to new programming on the same network. Deadwood topped Sopranos in more ways than one: it remained sharp during its entire three-season run, without ever repeating itself, and its Shakespearean vulgar prose for dialogue has been unequaled since. I watched every episode with great intensity, not missing a syllable of any conversation, nor a frame of its beautiful cinemtography. What a show - it clearly left The Sopranos in the dust.

Then, during the summer of 2007, I began watching the first season of The Wire, and was impressed in a whole different way. The Wire did not have the cinematography of The Sopranos' or Deadwood's caliber, nor was the writing stylized to the point of becoming poetic upon being heard for the first time. The cast was mostly an endless list of unknowns: other than three actors that I can think of, I have never seen any of its other performers in anything, ever - and I watch everything (worth watching). But what The Wire lacked in its style it more than made up for in substance. Its cast members didn't act; they just were. Its situations and difficult storylines about drugs, criminals, politicans and police officers in modern day Baltimore were not resolved; they simply continued in order to be tackled on another day, perhaps by the same characters, perhaps by the next generation of cops, lawyers and city officials.

There are no easy solutions to any of our city wide political problems in The Wire. The world of politics is a rough one, police don't have it easy, and not all criminals and drug dealers who fall into the system are bad people - some simply fall into it because they have no other options. Now that its fifth and final season is over, I wonder how The Wire will be viewed by future generations of filmmakers and Television executives who will endlessly try to come up with another series of equal authenticity and attention to detail. Along with "Battlestar Galactica", it's the best television drama I can ever recall seeing.

The problem with "nice to meet you"

2008-12-23T15:51:00.000-08:00

Is there a more insincere common gesture than shaking someone's hand and saying "nice to meet you"? Okay, I can think of one: raising your hand in a tennis match in an apologetic manner after one of your shots clips the net and drops right over onto your opponent's side, as if to say, "I'm so sorry I won that point." As both a tennis player and a fan of sincere gestures, I especially hate the latter example; but seeing how people shaking hands and meeting on a daily basis the world over is a much more common occurence than a tennis ball clipping and dropping just over the net, let's talk about the former for a minute.

The issue I have with "nice to meet you" is how automatic and mechanical of a statement it is, and especially how quick most people are to say it to pretty much everyone whose hand they shake for the first time. "How nice to meet you." Certainly that can't possibly be the case with everyone they meet, can it? In my life, I've met people who've been worthy of "nice to meet you" and have also met those whose presence I've dreaded being in while shaking their sweaty, dirty paws, but in neither case would I say "nice to meet you" to the person because, well, why lie to people?

I mean, why do we say "nice to meet you"? What is the deal with that? How nice is it to meet people anyway? Is it "nice", indeed? Is it really? I've met people, and have shaken their hands, and I can tell you, it wasn't that "nice" meeting them. It wasn't nice at all. In some cases, it was downright lame, disgusting and pointless: will I ever see this person in my life again, and if I do, would I give them the time of day? In fact, why are they still holding my hand? And why are they telling me that it's "nice" to meet me? Hell, if I'd met me, I'd tell myself, as straightforward and as confidently as I can, that it's not particularly nice to meet me. And then I'd buy myself a drink for being honest.

Los Angeles: looking back & reflecting on the pros and cons

2008-12-23T15:02:00.000-08:00

So the snow is hard and at it these days in Chicago, and it didn't take me a long time to realize just how little I've missed it since last winter. Because it's snowed pretty much every other day since I've returned from Los Angeles - while the temps drop well below zero on the days that it's dry - I've been forced to think long and hard about just how badly I want to stay here in Chicago in the years ahead. I mean, shoveling snow four days a week, for six or eight weeks in a row? Worrying if I'm gonnna get hypothermia on other days? Who needs to worry about that? Certainly not the residents of Southern California.

My recent visit to Los Angeles was my fifth overall (since my very first one in the winter of 2001). As a result, my thoughts and feelings regarding Los Angeles, both as a city and a community, as a residence or a place to call 'home', go back and forth. On one hand, I certainly cannot argue with its agreeable climate, and the year round sunshine. The older I get, the less likely I'll want to feel cold six months of the year. And the ocean is close - only miles away, or blocks, for those who live right on the coast. On the other hand, there's the driving and the miles of endless road that one must cover if they're to merely go to ... the grocery store, or the video store, or a decent restaurant, to name just a few. The public transportation system being slow and unreliable, a person without a car in Southern California isn't likely to get far on a professional level, or even a personal one. I have a car here, and I drive it often, but not nearly as far as I would have to on a daily basis if I lived on the west coast.

And then there's the culture. The Los Angeles lifestyle differs greatly from the East Coast, and especially the Midwest. Here, we don't care much what kind of a car a person living in the public eye drives, or what designer they're wearing, or who they're dating. Maybe a little bit, but certainly not to the extent that we'd be willing to gossip endlessly about it. I can't imagine that being a non-issue in the zip code area beginning with a 9.

I'm still on the fence about this. If these Chicago winters continue to progressively get worse and worse with each passing year, I will have no choice than to move out west, and if I do, Los Angeles (or its outlining county) is most likely where I'll end up. Unless, of course, global warming arrives sooner than expected and saves the day. But I just don't see that happening in my lifetime...

Los Angeles: Day 7 - Los Feliz with Rudy (and departure)

2008-12-11T12:09:00.000-08:00

My last day in California. I'm flying out later tonight, with a red eye flight which leaves LAX at 11:30pm and arrives in Chicago at 5:20am. On the way to the city, Saul and I stop at the local Hooters for some hot wings, a ritual we used to have in the past, but haven't had in the last few years. Not being able to help it, I flirt with our waitress - a pretty young thing called Lauren. She's cute, energetic and young. I bust out my lame one-liners, and she laughs; ultimately she doesn't buy my attempt to seduce her, and after finishing up, we leave, heading out to Los Feliz, where I'm supposed to meet with my old college friend, Rudy.

Los Feliz is a small neighborhood in Los Angeles, right next to Hollywood, and it is where I stayed during my first week long visit to Tinseltowon way back in late 2001. In the evening, around 6pm, Rudy and I take a walk from his place on Kingsley Drive all the way to Vermont Boulevard, which is about a mile or so away. The night was cool but pleasant, and it mirrored an average early April evening in Chicago. I haven't seen Rudy in a few years, and as we sit and eat at a local diner on Vermont, we catch up on what each has been up to. The tacos I ordered are sub par, at best; Rudy doesn't quite finish his cheeseburger, which was massive to begin with. After dinner, I have a craving for ice cream, but can't not find a place within walking distance. Eventually I give up on it, and we walk back.

At 9pm, we begin our ride from Los Feliz to LAX. Since Rudy takes local roads (for scenic purposes) to get to the airport, it takes us longer than usual to get there. At about 10pm, I bid goodbye to him and get my boarding pass. By the time I get to my gate, there's about an hour to go. Not many people are waiting to board; it figures, since red eye flights are generally not very full. On the plane, I'm grateful to have an empty seat next to me; if only I had had this luck on the inbound flight, about a week ago. Before long, I fall asleep, and don't remember much else afterwards.

Los Angeles: Day 6 - NFL in the burbs

2008-12-11T11:50:00.000-08:00

Upon waking up this morning, I realize that I'm sore as all hell. The two long tennis matches I played yesterday, combined with the fact that I'm sort of out-of-competitive-tennis shape, add up to me moving very, very slowly. Getting up out of bed hurts. Standing up hurts. Sitting back down really hurts. It's gonna be a long day.

I realize that doing these long, physical ordeals at the age of 30 will have its price - much more so than doing them at, say, the age of 20. One would think that I would've learned my lesson by running the Chicago marathon (three times, from 2004 to '06), but no. This feels pretty bad - the soreness is overwhelming - and it's nearly as painful as the day after the marathon. The only thing I can do, the only reasonable activity in which I won't extend myself at all, or even have to get up much, is to watch NFL on TV - for it is Sunday, after all, and for many it is a weekend religion.

CBS is broadcasting the Chicago Bears vs. the Jacksonville Jaguars game at 10am, and for a minute it feels like I'm back home. Bears live on the west coast. Wasn't sure that this ever happened, unless they were playing a west coast team. At 1pm, the Dallas Cowboys take on the Pittsburgh Steelers, in an awesome matchup that has a terrific ending for the Steelers - but a very depressing and disappointing one for the Cowboys, who blow a 10 point lead with 7 minutes left in the 4th, and end up losing by 7. Bummer. I was really pulling for them.

In the evening, I go to the jacuzzi and relax in it for about an hour, hoping that the heat and bubbles would ease the soreness I'm feeling. It feels good in there, but after getting out, the pain returns, and I'm back to moving at snail pace. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow (but the reality is that the soreness will stay with me for at least three days, with Wednesday being the first possible day during which I'll go back to feeling normal again).

Los Angeles: Day 5 - Anaheim Hills Tennis

2008-12-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

It's tennis time. An old friend of mine, Arway, who's moved here this past August, has agreed to play with me in a USTA sanctioned tennis tournament in Anaheim Hills. We're gonna play doubles together, and then singles individually, in the Men's 4.0 NTRP division. It's a beautiful morning at 7:15am, when he picks me up in Irvine. The ride to Anaheim Hills is about 30 minutes away, and there's no traffic anywhere. The backdrop views of the southern California mountains are awesome; I suppose it's one of the few things (along with the warm weather) that I'll miss about this place when I return to Chicago.

Our first doubles match is at 8am, and our opponents are much older (and slower, but also a lot more experienced) - Bob Zimmerman and Yi-Do Lin. We start off pretty quickly, going up a break to take a 2-0 lead in the first set. We trade a few breaks, and go up again, 5-4 this time, with me serving for the set. I get broken - the strong morning sun is blinding me, they hit a couple of good shots, and after taking the opening set to the tibreak, we lose it 7-6 (7-3). The second set is just as competitive, with us going up 4-2 once again, but we're once again unable to hold the lead, and we lose 7-5. Tough match, but no cigar. I really thought we had them - in the warm up they looked like they could hardly move. But in doubles, I guess experience and guile will beat athleticism and speed anyday.

I rest for about 45 minutes, and then take the court for my first singles match, against Paul R. Overett, from Long Beach. In the first few games, we go back and forth. He gives me a few close calls, which I didn't think I deserved. I take note of this, and play the rest of the match under the same good faith, giving him every single point that was close or even questionable. He serves for the first set at 5-4, but I break him, and I win the next few games to close it 7-5. My legs feel heavy, due to lack of competitive match play in over a month. Plus, the sun is shining bright and hot, and there are no clouds under which it could hide for a while. I'm sweating, working hard, but he picks up his game, and wins the second set by the same score: 7-5. The third set will decide the winner. We've now been on the court for over 2 hours, and could be on it for at least another hour. And the winner has to play again, at 2:15pm. Knowing this, I wonder if I really even want to win, and how badly. Do I really want to punish my self physically enough so that I can't even get out of bed tomorrow? These thoughts go through my head. I decide to give it my all anyway. He takes a quick lead, but I make a late comeback. At 4-4 in the third, he plays a couple of good points, and closes the match with a 5-7, 7-5, 6-4 win. I congratulate him and wish him luck in the next round. He's a nice guy, possessing a great sportmanship not common in many players at the level that we play. Part of me feels bad that I didn't win, but at the same time I'm glad that I won't have to play again today, since my body is starting to ache, and tomorrow it will hurt even more.

Around 5pm, Arway and I head back towards the city. He drops me off in Irvine around 5:30pm, and I proceed to take a much needed nap, which will do me good prior to attending the Zero Film Festival's closing night party later tonight in downtown Los Angeles. I pass out practically before I even put my head down.

7pm. Saul comes back, and we get ready. By 8:45pm, we're at the Downtown Independent theater. The last of the Festival's films screen - a short film called "Ommission" and a feature, "Alpha Maybe". Both have good stories, and decent acting, but the execution is sub-par, and could've been better in someone else's hands.

The after party goes late. It begins around 11pm, as opposed to the original 10pm start. I mingle with some filmmakers who I've met earlier in the week, as I suck down one Cranberry vodka after another. We talk about the best films we've seen at the Zero Festival this week, and I'm surprised how lame some of their favorite choices are. Eventually I settle on drinking plain water, to prevent a hangover tomorrow morning. The last of the bands wraps up their set, and people begin to leave. Around 2am, we take off, and I'm mostly in and out of conscience during our one hour drive back to Irvine.

Los Angeles: Day 4 - Downtown (and more of ZFF)

2008-12-05T22:48:00.000-08:00

Since it’s now after 9:30am (PST), and the last Metrolink train leaves Irvine for downtown Los Angeles at 8:34am – until 4pm, when it begins again for a few hours before shutting down for the night – I’m forced to take an Amtrak train if I am to get to the Union Station in downtown Los Angeles for some further sightseeing, and also to see some more films at the Zero Film Festival. The only thing is that Amtrak charges $13 for a ride – and that’s just a one way ticket. These Californians don’t know the meaning of ‘cheap’, or ‘low price’ – certainly not when it comes to food and transporation, to name just a few.

I’m dropped off at the station ten minutes prior to 11am, for my 11:05am train. Steep as the price may be, the train is actually quite comfortable. Fast, pleasantly clean and providing the smoothest ride imaginable. I do some work on my computer during this hour and ten minute trip, while looking through the window at the sights of local neighborhoods, businesses and mountains that happen to be not far from the railroad. And unlike yesterday, it is a beautiful day – sun is shining brightly, with not a single cloud in the sky, and the temps are in low 70s. Southern California certainly has its perks.

At the Union Station, I activate the GPS system on my cell phone, and follow the directions to the Independent Theater, the sight of the Zero Film Festival. On the way, I closely observe the downtown area of Los Angeles and its evolving growth – both architecturally and artistically. If the downtown area was, in fact, ever a dump – an abandoned area ignored by most, where not much happened and where a few office buildings were the only signs of life once upon the time (according to most of the city’s residents) – it is certainly that no more. Today, Los Angeles is much more impressive to walk through than I last observed it during my last visits here in 2001 and 2005. The historical buildings are still standing tall and pretty – the Los Angeles Times building, Bradbury Building, Herald Examiner Building, Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, the Shrine Auditorium, Richard J. Riordan Central Library and the Millennium Biltmore Hotel, among many more. These monuments have a long and standing history, and represent the best of the downtown area, both for the temporary tourist and the permanent resident of Southern California. I, for one, am impressed, and will certainly need more than this one day to fully explore and appreciate the newfound elegance of this area.

At the Zero Film Festival, I use my all access pass to see more films. The results, I’m afraid, are the same as before. A lotta junk, and a few pleasant surprises. The best of the day was the short film from Germany, called “Panama”, about a blind man whose vision returns only for a few minutes so that he can finally see what the woman he loves looks like. “Homeland” is a feature film, and a very impressive one at that, about a soldier returning home from Iraq to find even more disarray in his home town. I myself could not be more tired from the Iraq themed movies, for I have seen way too many in my lifetime, most of which would be adequate substitutes for toilet paper. But “Homeland” is probably one of the best about America’s involvement in Iraq – deserving to me mentioned in the same breath with “Three Kings” and even “In the valley of Elah”.

Los Angeles: Day 3 - Newport & Laguna Beach

2008-12-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Today I’m on my own. No car, no ride, no easy way of getting anywhere. My friend that I’m staying with has to work, and since I’ve spent most of the day yesterday cooped up indoors, I decide to trek it, all the way to the oceanfront. From Irvine. On foot. That’s a journey. No – that’s an Odyssey. Around noon, I begin my walk.

I take the 73 southeast, and walk on the side of the roads over and under other highways, until I reach a more populated area that’s worthy of possessing sidewalks. The signs tell me that I’m in Newport, and it’s been about 45 minutes since I left. The area looks nice, but it’s not unlike the rest of Orange that I’ve seen thus far. Big expensive houses, sitting on large hills, surrounded by other houses that look more or less exactly like the house on the right AND the house on the left. The sky is gray, and plenty of clouds are present, but no rain falls. From what I’ve heard, it almost never rains here. Good. ‘Cause it makes my journey on foot that much easier.

According to the map system on my phone, I’m about 3 miles away from the ocean front, so I keep marching on, as countless cars zoom past me on the mini-highway street. Using my phone, I take some photos of the surrounding area – hills, the houses, the streets, the mountains in the background, but because of the lack of sunlight due to cloudiness, they don’t end up looking very good. I keep walking, as my stomach begins growling for the first time today.

Crystal Cove State Park is right on the Pacific ocean, but very rural and unappealing if looked at from a distance. I cross the Pacific Coast highway and enter it, walking through the trail until I reach the beach, being overwhelmed by the salt in the air. It’s been awhile since I’ve smelt the ocean. It brings back memories. Some good, some bad, but memories that the ordinariness of Lake Michigan just doesn’t jolt anymore.

There are many people walking on the beach, as the waves splash here and there, and nearly get my shoes wet a few times. A few girls are also from the Midwest. One of them, from Minnesota, begins talking to me. We chat for a few minutes while the friend that she’s staying with – who’s also from Chicago – catches up to us. I get a phone call and answer it. My attention re-directed, she leaves, and I begin walking southeast on the beach, following the shape of the Pacific Coast highway.

Around 3pm, I change my direction and follow the traffic north west, toward MacArthur Boulevard, where I’m supposed to meet my friend, just 2 or 3 miles away. Pretty soon signs of civilization rise to my sight (as opposed to all the highway side dirt roads, which I’ve been on for most of my hike). Chronic Taco appears around the corner. Hmmm. Wonder what kind of burritos they have. Let’s see. Ten minutes later, I decide that I would trade ten of their burritos for one of Chipotle.

I meet with my friend and eventually we take a drive down to Laguna Beach, another beautiful beachfront community. It is nighttime now, and so much of Laguna is illuminated that on a clear night it looks even more dramatic, more impressive, even romantic. We drive around for about half hour, as I observe all the wealthy people on the sidewalks, in storefronts, walking their dogs, or jogging about. So nice to be able to stroll down the street in a T-shirt and shorts in early December. I think about how tough it’s gonna be dealing with sub-zero temps of Chicago upon my return just four days from now. Ugh.

Los Angeles: Day 2 - (The) Zero Film Festival

2008-12-05T22:44:00.000-08:00

The drive from Orange county (Irvine, more specifically, but it’s located in Orange county) to downtown Los Angeles is a rather long one. According to the speedometer, it’s about 42 miles from door to door, and on a typical California-driving-on-the-highway day it can feel twice that long. We leave the place at around 1pm, after having slept in a bit and eaten a late breakfast. It’s a beautiful sunny day, something quite common here, and it takes us around an hour to get to the city.

Prior to parking the car, we head over to Philippe’s French dipped sandwiches, in the Chinatown part of downtown. It’s an old place, very nostalgic, dating back even to the 1920s, or so I’m told. The prices are inexpensive for Los Angeles’ standards, and the floor of the restaurant is covered with sawdust (I’m guessing it makes it easier to sweep later?). My French dipped beef sandwich is good, but not at all better than any beef place in Chicago.

3pm. We get to the Downtown Independent theater, the location of the Zero Film Festival. It’s a remodeled building, on Main street (between 2nd and 3rd), and the interior looks great. Even better is the shape of the auditorium – clean, modern, comfortable. The extremely low budget films projecting there actually looked quite good. I was especially impressed with the way “Foreign English” looked on such an enormous screen. Pretty sharp, with the sound equaling the image. The only disappointment was the low turnout – there were probably about 10 people or so in total, and half of them were my friends who were in attendance to show me support. I got some positive, decent feedback, but it still would’ve been more satisfactory to show it in front a larger audience, even at the expense of getting negative feedback.

Couple of films screened were good, and most weren’t even okay. “Burma All Inclusive” is a low budget documentary feature that I liked a lot – not only as an educational piece about the country’s government and economy, but also about its culture. A short film, “Thanksgiving”, had an effective, ominous tone, and was well acted. The rest I could easily forget. In fact, I already have.

After the screenings we attend the Film Festival after party, which is taking place in an old warehouse on Flower street, right in front of Los Angeles Convention Center and the Staples Center. This area really does look terrific at night, when all the lights are on, and the downtown resembles parts of Chicago and even New York City. Not bad for a place that doesn’t pride itself for its downtown area.

Plenty of booze at the party – beer, wine, vodka, whiskey, you name it. A couple of local bands play a few sets. We mingle and talk to a few other independent filmmakers. Most are new to Los Angeles, while others have lived here for a while, but are originally from elsewhere. One girl’s film about the graffiti painters in Puerto Rico is extensively long – I get bored, annoyed, and tired as hell. Hard to keep the yawns from coming now. More drinks is the answer. We talk to a few more girls, but when it becomes apparent that they won’t be putting out, we head back. It’s 12:30am, or somewhere around there. Long day. I’m exhausted. And there’s still five more to go.

Los Angeles: Travel Day

2008-12-03T11:32:00.000-08:00

The very idea of a two and a half hour layover in Las Vegas depresses me. I mean, I'm already gonna waste a couple of hours at O'Hare anyway, waiting to board my flight. And then, once on the plane, it's another 45 minutes to an hour before it actually takes off. All this, while I'm seated next to a couple of hillbillies who haven't showered in a while. Oh yeah - these four plus hours can't go by fast enough for me.

I land in Vegas around 4:47pm, Pacific time. Slot machines are everywhere - in fact, the first batch of them is mere feet away from the gate. Nice. My flight for LAX isn't 'till 7:17pm, so I look for a decent place to eat. California Pizza Kitchen. A bar of some sort. Auntie Anne's Pretzels. Ruby's. Hmmm. Ruby's it is.

Gotta love Las Vegas airport food. I haven't paid $15 for a cheeseburger, fries and coke in a while (come to think of it, probably never). The burger was good - nothing spectacular, being the size of a typical burger you'd find at any McDonald's. In fact, it's probably smaller in size than a Big Mac, but hey - it's a $15 burger combo. Gotta love Vegas.

It's around 6pm. Still over an hour to go before my flight begins boarding. I find a seat, turn on my laptop, and what do you know - free Wi Fi all around at the McCarren airport in Las Vegas. Wow. This is a luxury that not even Midway or O'Hare provide to their travellers.

I land in LAX around 8:30pm. My flight was a lot more pleasant this time around, with more room (the middle seat was empty), and a very attractive Indian girl sitting in the aisle (to my window seat). Not a bumpy ride at all. Los Angeles looks lit up from above - it's like looking at the stars on a most cloudless night and seeing each and every one in the galaxy. The weather is pretty fair - low 60s. Nice. A welcome change from the freezing temps of the midwest I just left.

My friend picks me up and we drive to his place in Orange County. Never been there before. The ride is pleasant and smooth, with no traffic whatsoever, and we get there in about 35 minutes. I left my place in Chicago about 12 hours ago, and I've only just gotten here. If not for all the waiting one does at airports, travelling would be a lot more efficient - and fun.

My perception of "Perceptions"

2008-12-01T17:10:00.001-08:00

It's been nearly a week since I shot my latest film, "Perceptions", and the reason that I'm writing my first blog in eight days goes to show you how exhausted I was in the days following it. Not only that, but I came down with a nasty cold, one that prevented me from going to work on Friday, and which didn't help the hangover that I suffered on Saturday night. Instead, it prolonged it, intesified it tenfold, and left me dizzy the entire Sunday. But enough about the good times.

The footage from "Perceptions" actually looks quite good. The lighting design creted by Saul Herckis is better than I could've imagined, and it gives the film depth that it otherwise would've lacked. In the past week, bedridden and 'grounded' that I was, I was able to put together a rough cut, which is not bad. The sound design needs some work, but the picture cut is pretty solid, and I doubt that it'll change all that much.

My sincere thanks - on this fourth post-Thanksgiving day - go not only to my crew (Saul Herckis, Matt Adamitus, Phai Yingprasert, Adam Arrington, Brad Weisberg), but also to my cast - Claire Tuft, Marco Tazioli, Julie Mitre, Paul J. Slivinski, Jill Thiel, David Goodloe, Jeff Garretson, Kristin Broadwell, Paul Jackson and Runa Mitra. Very good job by all, and even better than their performances was their patience on that ever lasting night, during which we were all more than a little drowsy throughout, including yours truly.

"Perceptions" is currently a work in progress, but I expect it will be screening sometime in mid January, just around my 31st birthday. Stay tuned for more updates.

The ever falling gas prices: why so low so soon and so fast?

2008-11-23T08:27:00.000-08:00

If my memory serves me correctly, the gas prices when I last looked at them - about $2.17 here in my neighborhood - are roughly one half of what they were in late June and early July. This is great news for those who drive far and often, and even for those who drive on weekends exclusively. I'm not sure what to attribute these sudden plummeting numbers, but based on articles I've read recently, there are a few theories:

1. Summer is over, and in fall and winter every one drives less, or so they say (this is certainly not true in Chicago; if you don't believe me, just take I-90 on a Saturday on Sunday, not to mention the weekday, and watch your hair turn gray as you sit in traffic for much longer than initally anticipated).

2. Petroleum traders are selling their holdings, fearing that prices are way too high to last (again - or say they tell us). These folks also believe that there are no hurricanes on the horizon which could threaten production of oil in the Gulf of Mexico, hence the decline in prices.

3. The demand for gas has fallen. In the last 8 months alone, people have changed their driving habits, they've adjusted to alternate means of transportation, or are simply switching to other energy sources.

Or there are those who believe that Republicans are to blame - in one way or another. And Halliburton. But just how, and to what extent, they can't really say. A conspiracy is all it is, at this time.

I personally am welcoming these low oil prices, as they've allowed me to save some money on a weekly basis. At the same time, I don't understand how the Oil companies can go from, say, 50 billion dollars per year profit, to roughly half that at this point; the mathematics and politics behind it will always be a mystery to me. But going from $45 per tank fill up to about $20 in mere four months is something I can definitely get used to.

Note to NFL: get rid of the stupid overtime rule and play the game out until a winner is decided

2008-11-20T11:36:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't follow NFL, this last Sunday the Philadelphia Eagles played the Cincinnatti Bengals in a game that resulted in a tie. At the end of regulation (four quarters), both teams were tied at 13 points each. The NFL rule states that, in over time, the team that scores first wins the game. In the 15 minutes of overtime, neither team scored, and even though the outcome of this game illustrates how pathetic the Philadelphia Egles really are - that they couldn't defeat the God awful Bengals in 75 minutes of game time - the bottome line is simple: the NFL needs to change the most anticlimactic of its rules.

The game ended in a tie because the current NFL rule states that if neither team scores any points in the 15 minute overtime period, the game ends in a tie. Donovan McNabb, the superstar quarterback of the Eagles, and the face of the franchise, admitted after the game that he had no idea there were ties in the NFL. For this, the press has scolded him, as did certain members of the NFL.

Memo to all out there who believe that McNabb should've known better: leave the poor guy alone. Just because he plays on an underachieving team doesn't mean his ignorance on a rather ridiculous rule should hold him back. I mean, can you think of any other sporting competition that ends in a tie? Especially a gigantic, multi-billion dollar corporation like the NFL, that is built on great drama, suspense and thrills? Even in soccer, if a game is tied, there is a penalty shoot out that determines who wins; in baseball, the teams will play 15, sometime 20 innings until someone scores and is declared a winnner. So why the tie rule in the NFL? It simply counters everything that we love about professional sports, about great competition, about watching world class athletes giving their all for the sake of our entertainment.

The players themselves have stated that they have no problem playing the game out, no matter how long, and no matter how beat up and exhasted they may get from the additional overtime periods, until a game concludes with one team winning, and the other losing. So why doesn't the league change the rule? Here's hoping that smarter heads will prevail in the social circle of the NFL commissioner Roger Goodel.

An "Oldboy" remake by Smith and Spielberg? Please say it isn't so...

2008-11-19T16:47:00.000-08:00

I read last week, almost by accident, that Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are in talks to remake "Oldboy" as a Hollywood film. This offends me not only as a fan of good cinema, but as a fan of common sense.

For those of you unfamiliar with "Oldboy": it is a Korean film, from 2004, I believe, dealing with one man's revenge against his mysterious captors, who've kept him locked up for 15 years for reasons unknown to him. It is a fantastic, original work, completely uncompromising and intelligent. Upon my first viewing of it, I was blown away by the twist at the end, which was not cheap and a cop out, as most twists in Hollywood films are these days, but well earned and entirely believable. You owe it to yourselves to see this film; I suspect most people do not even know of its existence.

The problem with Spielberg and Smith re-making it lies in their history of having remade bad films on more than one ocassion. Will Smith's "Wild Wild West" was a remake of a mediocre TV show, and it stunk up the theatres across the US upon its 1999 summer release. Steven Spielberg's remake of "War of the Worlds" was also disappointing, especially in its last 30 minutes (something that the director is famous for - not knowing when to say 'when' in concluding his films).

If, in fact, the remake of "Oldboy" does end up taking place, I can't imagine it will do anything to improve the original, except bring awareness of it to those who've been unaware of it. Heck, out of respect for the original film alone, Spielberg himself should just say, "I'm not going near that". I guess Hollywood is running out of original idea these days, and both Spielberg and Smith simply need to stain an existing cult classic because . . . well, I'm guessing they're not running out of money so . . . I just can't figure this one out.

An expensive dud, and two low(er) budget gems

2008-11-16T08:09:00.000-08:00

My weekly (or sometimes bi-weekly, depending on my schedule) trip to the movie theater resulted in three films this week, and more different from one another they can not be. In no particular order, I saw:

Quantum of Solace: This new James Bond film is not even remotely in the same league as its predecessor, Casino Royale. It's as if the filmmakers took everything that made Royale such a success and said, "Nah, let's try a different approach." Well, they did. Instead of character, we get chase scenes - countless ones, it seems. Instead of relevant themes, we get fights, all empty of suspense or any sort of thrills, all of which result in Bond coming out on top (gee, never would've guessed that). And in place of a meaningful, complex villain, we get one who, if he had mustache, would be twirling it endlessly while scheming how else he could dominate the planet. Please. This is a true stinker of an action movie - boring, meaningless, loud and dumb, without one genuine moment of originality or thrills. The only saving grace is Daniel Craig, who deserves much better material in a role that he was born to play. Here's hoping that the producers go back to the drawing board before they release the next 007 film. C-

Let the right one in: I had only seen one trailer for this Swedish movie, about a young girl vampire who befriends a (mortal) boy in the frozen tundra of northern Europe. Completely original, this film had me guessing the entire time as to where the story was going; by the time it was finished, I was thoroughly infatuated with its characters and story. The final scene at the swimming pool is fantastic, in a way that is both horrifying and funny at the same time. One of the best films of the year. A-

Role Models: There is something about Paul Rudd that is absolutely charming, in a completely vulgar and non-manipulative way. The guy simply knows how to spot a funny script, and in his last few outings, has been in some of the funniest films of the decade (The 40 year old virgin, Knocked Up). Role Models is fresh, charismatic and, unlike most films starring the overpaid Adam Sandler and Will Ferrel, it's actually funny. As two adults who've been ordered to spend time with a couple of minors for community service (as a result of destruction of some public property), Rudd and Sean William Scott are foul mouthed guys looking to grow up, and who speak and behave like real people - and not movie folk. These are guys that you'd want to sit down and have a beer with. That in itself is worth the price of admission; you throw in the hilarious script and some great casting, and you got yourself a really great comedy. B+

Republicans in a Democrat's family

2008-11-15T14:58:00.000-08:00

Having been a Democrat for as long as I can remember, I certainly don't have much tolerance for Republicans bragging about their "superiority" over us, or badmouthing Democratic policies as "weak" and inferior to their own. At 30, I'm a little more tolerant than I was at, say, 25 (during which years I'd as soon pop a proud Republican in the mouth - while they'd preach the "evil" of pro-choice to me - as I'd sneeze, covering my mouth with the inside of my arm). But at the same time, at 30, I'm learning that those sharing the same blood as I are now on the "other side".

It was definitely a shock to me when my brother told me he'd voted for John McCain a few weeks ago. That's right - he voted for John McCain. My brother, who is an immigrant, just as I am, voted Republican. Wow.

There's really nothing wrong with people having their own political opinions, to be sure - unless, of course, those people are your relatives, and unless they're Republican. Then it's a problem - at least for me it is (I've spent the last few days wondering if his real body had been replaced by an alien one, like in the Invasion of the body snatchers). I can only draw a few conclusions about this very strange and rather horrific choice of his for our next commander in chief, and aside from the one I just mentioned, I'm convinced that the poor fella simply is not up to speed about John McCain as a person, a politician, and an all around douchebag, or about the Republican party in general.

Again, I do not wish to offend anyone with my liberal views by what I write here and in the afore mentioned paragraphs above - except, of course, any Republican who cares to read it. There aren't enough minutes in an hour - or hours in a day, for that matter - for me to sit here and type about every thing Republican that makes me want to cringe when I'm in the "social" presence of certain conservatives, the ones who never hold anything back when given a chance to share their political views with the rest of us - therefore I won't.

But having a sibling who has fallen to the dark side does not sit well with me. And no Jedi mind trick, or any use of the "force" which I've tried to employ, has worked thus far. This is not good, but my consolation lies in the fact that his Darth was not elected Vader this time around. And in an alternate universe, it could be worse: my brother is a Democrat, but a Republican is a President elect. Between the current reality and the possible alternate one, I'll take the former, thank you very much.

"Foreign English" at Zero Film Festival in Los Angeles - December 1st through 6th

2008-11-13T11:18:00.000-08:00

I just learned two days ago that my short film, "Foreign English", has been accepted at the Zero Film Festival in Los Angeles. The festival will take place on December 1st through the 6th, and festival organizers have asked me, as one of the filmmakers whose film has been accepted, to attend the festival.

My film will screen on Wednesday, December 3rd, at 3:30pm, at the Downtown Independent Theater, 251 South Main St., in Los Angeles. I plan on being there, and while in town, I certainly hope that few colleagues who reside in SoCal - they know who they are - will attend the screening as well. And perhaps join me for a drink or two.

More of Armand's adventures from Tinseltown to follow, starting on December 2nd.

The demotion of Tennis Masters Cup to Fox Sports

2008-11-13T07:11:00.000-08:00

Men's professional tennis season (ATP, that is) culminates every November at the Tennis Masters Cup. For the last four years it has taken place in Shanghai, China, and for the next two it will move to London (until they get bored from it as well, and move it somewhere else). This has been the norm for this tournament since its conception in the early 1990s.

Now, for those unfamiliar with tennis, Tennis Masters Cup is a week long tournament, taking place annualy in the second week of November, and it consists of the world's top 8 tennis players. Their yearlong hard work and great results have taken them to this, the highest paid of events on the ATP tour, where just playing one match, regardless if they win it or not, will pay them slightly over $100,000. For the past I-don't-even-know-how-many-years, this tournament has been covered by ESPN and ESPN2, and now, this past week, for the first time in its existence, I can not find any coverage of it on any of my TV stations.

Just two days ago, a friend told me that ESPN has been dropped as the network for the TMC and has been replaced by Fox Sports Net. The problem with this : I don't f---ing have Fox Sports Net; the Comcast package I possess does not include it (in fact, I don't think any Comcast packages include Fox Sports anymore - not sure why).

I already pay about $7 each month for the Tennis Channel, which is not inexpensive for one single channel, if you think about it - in addition to all my other basic cable programs. If nothing else, the failure of ESPN to continue covering TMC should certainly be picked up by the Tennis Channel, and NOT Fox Sports Net. I mean, wtf?

Needless to say, I'm not happy about this. As a result of this unfair 'new' contract between ATP and Fox Sports, I'm unable to watch a single match from Shanghai this year. Not ... one ... match. And I pay $7 a month for the Tennis Channel, which this week has been broadcasting nothing but doubles matches from China. Nothing against doubles, but the bread and butter of ATP (and WTA, for that matter) has always been the singles competition.

What a crock of ----.

Voicemail greeting: keep it short & sweet

2008-11-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

"Hi. You've reached Joe Blow at 555-5555. No one is here to take your call right now, but if you leave me a brief message and your phone number, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you, and have a nice day". BEEEEEEP!

Is all this necessary? Is it really? I've not met every single human being on this planet, but I can say, with full confidence, that most of us know what to do when we reach a voicemail of a person we're trying to contact. It's 2008, for crying out loud - not 1988.

There's a few reasons why this is annoying to me. One: I do not need to be told who I reached - I know that already, when I dialed your number. Two: you don't need to tell me who you are because, well, see number One again. Three: I appreciate you trying to instruct me what to do in this most complex of situations, but trust me, I've done it before, and chances are, so has everyone who lives in parts of the world that possess indoor plumbing. Four: so you say you'l get back to me? Seriously? Wow... so that's why these things exist. As long as you're at it, why don't you also inform us on the wetness of water, or the regularity of sunrise and sunset?

A perfect voicemail greeting should include no more than: "This is Joe Blow. Leave a message."

Seriously folks - I do not need to waste one quarter of my monthly minute plan listening to you try to explain common knowledge each and every time I dial your number (for those who NEVER answer their effin cell phones). So do us all a favor: re-record your f---ing voicemail greeting, and make it short and sweet. You know who you are.

Perverts in public bathrooms

2008-11-06T19:57:00.000-08:00

It's a very unique experience when one witnesses a pervert in a public place. I, for one, don't know how to react to such a situation. How could anyone? Some of these perverts can easily be regular folks, whose actions are misunderstood and mistaken for those of a person with ill intentions. And when a pervert in question happens to be a homosexual, and the victim clearly not, well then, we have a situation.

The Chicago lakeshore bike path is full of such people. Perverts, that is, of homosexual nature, and I would not be talking about such an issue, which is a serious one, unless I myself was a witness to more than one incident. The first occurred in the public bathroom at the Kathy Osterman beach, on the north side, in the neighborhood of Edgewater (or Uptown - one of the two), at the beginning of this past summer. Your humble narrator was merely trying to urinate innocently, prior to his six mile jog, when he observed a strange man staring at him as he was standing in front of a urinal. This, in fact, made me so uncomfortable that I couldn't even go; I nearly turned to the fellow in question and said, "Can I help you with something?", but being certain that such a remark would've only created a bigger confrontation, I kept my mouth shut and walked out. Maybe I should've said something, but I didn't. I lived to (perhaps) stand up for myself another day.

Second incident was more recent, in early October. I was at a different public bathroom, on the same lakeshore path, but a few miles further south. Once again I was standing at a urinal, attempting another number one, when an older man, who was sitting in a stall nearby (I could see his feet as I walked in) motioned with his hand, several times, for me to come over to him. For what, I wondered? Did he run out of toilet paper? What could he have possibly wanted? I mean, is this the way some of these old homosexuals really get their kicks? Approaching total strangers in public restroom for handjobs, blowjobs, and whatever else their sick minds might be up to? I walked away again, just laughing it off, wondering how anyone could have such guts to attempt something so risky. Another person, with a less tolerant attitude, might've given him quite a beating. I guess that's the chance they take, and it seems like they're willing to keep taking it.

Just yesterday, I finished my tennis match, and having just discovered that they've shut down all of the water fountains on the aforementioned bike trail, I headed to the golf range store restrooms, which are nearby the Waveland tennis courts off the Lake Shore drive, to use their sink. In there, upon filling my bottle, I observed another pervert, using this urinal, then that one, than a stall a few feet behind him, all continuously. All this, while glancing at me here and there, as if to be inviting me to join him. My patience with these types, at least at this point, had sort of run its course, but I was willing to let it be, as long as they didn't make physical contact with me, which they were smart enough not to do. I left that bathroom, as I drank from the filled bottle, never ceasing to be surprised by these assholes, at least not anymore.

The thing that struck me the most was the guts all of these sickos displayed in trying to 'seduce' me, so to speak, to engage in their perverted games, regardless of what my sexual orientation was. And what annoyed me the most was that they believed that I would fall for it - without even having bought me dinner first! I mean, I do have standards, for crying out loud...

ZAM Rock(n'roll) the Change of Sex to the W!

2008-11-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

Not having been to a movie in a while, due to a packed work schedule, I was able to get away yesterday and see a few films. I do this once a month, when I have nothing else going on, and when there are at least two films that I've been waiting to see. The employees of the theater surely don't mind that I pay for one, but see four, and sometimes five, films in one day. They obviously recognize me in between each film, gliding across the lobby, moving from one auditorium to the next, but they just don't care. God bless them.

My day was filled with different films, all as diverse genres as can be, and it resulted in the following choices:

Rocknrolla: the latest crime caper from the former Mr. Madonna, dealing with the London underworld of gangsters, con artists and junkies alike. Guy Ritchie breaks no new ground here, since his first film, "Lock stock and two smoking barrels", was very similar to this one (as was his second outing, "Snatch"), but also a lot better. My grade: C

W: I've been waiting a few weeks now to sneak away and check out this Oliver Stone film about our current (and shortly former) commander in chief, and the reaction is a mixed one. Josh Brolin's acting is top notch, but the story brings very little that's new, or that most of the American public isn't already familiar with. It would make for a very good rental. The acting by everyone involved really saves it. My grade: B-

Zack and Miri make a porno: Kevin Smith has not generated any interest, as far as I'm concerned, since "Chasing Amy" (1997). His latest film, which is extremely vulgar and racy, to say the least, is mediocre at best, featuring the old-as-time-itself story of a boy and a girl who've known each other since grade school and who are the best of friends and realize late in the film that they're really meant for one another. Been there, done that. I will, however, say that the film generated at least four HUGE laughs that had me laughing 'till my stomach hurt. My grade: C+

Changeling: Clint Eastwood's film was by far the best one of the day, dealing with a woman whose son disappears, and whom the LAPD replaces by an 'impostor'. Angelina Jolie (and I've never been a fan) is actually very impressive, and will surely get another Oscar nomination for it. An engaging, strong and mature work, along the lines of "L.A. Confidential". My grade: B+

Sex Drive: A horny, virginal teenager meets a girl online, and then agrees to drive 500 miles when she agrees to have sex with him. Plenty of vulgar behavior and profanity, and horny teenagers, and typical teen-sex-comedy situations. But just as "Zack and Miri", this one generates just enough laughs (a couple of enormous ones) to make it worthwhile. I've always been a sucker for such stuff. My grade: B

That's it for this week, as far as new films are concerned. Check in again in a few weeks (three, I think), when I'll give you my reaction to "Quantum of Solace", "Milk" and whatever else happens to be out at the time.

Early flaws of G1

2008-11-03T08:36:00.000-08:00

Just five days ago, I purchased the new G1 one phone (by Google), from T-Mobile. It's supposed to be their response to Apple's iPhone - a smart device with a touch screen, that can work as a video player, a music player, a GPS device, and much more. Anyway, these are the things they tell you are the perks so that you'd go out get one - which, as a sucker that I am, I did, without thinking much, or doing any research on it whatsoever.

It's a clever play, on T-Mobile's part, not to let the customers know upfront just how poor the battery of the G1 phone is. After charging it for a whole night, I was shocked to see the battery die on me after only four hours - and on standby, no less. Of all the flaws that a cell phone can have, this one is most unforgivable, and unacceptable, to say the least.

How are the folks who spend just over $200 (with activation fee and tax) on this new "great" device supposed to stay in touch with anyone if they have to worry how many hours (or minutes, depending if they use the flashy features that the phone possesses) the battery has left? Are we supposed to carry our chargers where ever we go, just in case it dies prematurely? So far, from the few conversations I've had with the T-Mobile folks, they don't seem to have an answer, or a solution for this problem, anywhere in sight.

Here's hoping that they visit my blog and take a hint.

Sneezing etiquette

2008-11-01T17:03:00.001-07:00

I will never get used to seeing people sneeze directly into their hands. Why is it that this still happens? Adults of all ages, all backgrounds are still ignorant on the right way to sneeze properly, whether at home, work, or out in public.

Sneezing into one's hands is one of the most disgusting things people can do. Most of them will shake someone's hand shortly thereafter, or grab food with those same hands, or touch equipment that will be handled by someone else - someone who may, especially now, get 'infected' with their snot, or influenza, or whatever nasty bacteria and germs they released from their mouth and into their hands.

A much more simple and safer way to sneeze is into one's arm, inside the joint where the arm bends. It's cleaner, safer, and gurantees that no one else - or anything else - will be touched by that body part any time soon (or ever!).

So next time you feel a sneeze coming on, and feel the need to cover your mouth and nose with your hands, give it another thought: sneeze into your arm and turn it into a habit. It'll result in fewer people getting the flu as a result.